


Tangled in My Soul

by MoonlitMarauder, SiriuslyThatBitch



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Albus Dumbledore Bashing, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Anal Fingering, Angst, Anxiety, Blow Jobs, Consensual Underage Sex, Depression, F/M, Hand Jobs, Knotting, M/M, Marking, Mention of Male Birth, Mpreg, Original Character Death(s), Panic Attacks, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rimming, Rough Sex, Self-Esteem Issues, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 10:14:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 18
Words: 41,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25967971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonlitMarauder/pseuds/MoonlitMarauder, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SiriuslyThatBitch/pseuds/SiriuslyThatBitch
Summary: All Sirius wants is his Alpha to love him, all Remus wants is to give him something better.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 17
Kudos: 129
Collections: Wolfstar Hurt Fest





	1. Chapter 1- I’m Not Meant To Play This Part

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to our wonderful Beta for betaing this in record time.

**Remus**

**Wolf**

Alpha 

_Sirius_

_Omega_

“ _Please, Alpha_ .” The whimpered plea slipped through Sirius' lips. He was shaking on all fours beneath Remus, tilting his hips up as far as he could go. It had barely been five minutes since Remus’ knot had finally receded, but that never seemed to matter when it came to the Omega’s heats. Most times Remus had to fuck him until he literally passed out from exhaustion. Not that either of the men seemed to mind that. “ _I need you. It hurts._ ” The Omega sounded near tears as he begged the other man.

His words brought Remus’ Alpha to the forefront of his mind, seizing control of his body. “ Don’t worry my sweet Omega, I’ll take good care of you. ” Remus caressed Sirius’ soft skin, running his hands down Sirius’ back to the cleft off his arse. He trailed a single finger down to the pool of slick that was forming at his opening. 

_“Yes.”_ The Omega gasped, pushing back to try and get his Alpha’s finger to slide into him. 

Remus allowed Sirius to take a little control, his finger slid into him with ease. Pulling all the way out he added a second finger on the next thrust in. Sirius was still setting the pace. “That’s it, fuck yourself on my fingers. You’re such a good little Omega.” 

**Taste him.** The wolf made himself known as the slick slowly coated his hand. 

Remus obeyed. He removed his hand and started to lick his fingers clean. Relishing in the sweet taste of Omega mixed with the slight salty taste of his own cum left from the last time they fucked.

 **Gooood.** The wolf rumbled in pure pleasure. **Delicious Mate. Ready for cub.**

The Alpha purred along with the wolf at the thought of impregnating the Omega. With that thought in mind he lined his throbbing cock up with the Omega’s dripping entrance. His hard cock slid until he was fully seated inside the Omega. The sweet scent of the Omega’s slick filled the Alpha’s nostrils. 

“ _Move, pl-please Alpha.”_ It was clear by his tone alone that the Omega was in control of Sirius as well. His movements were purely instinctual as he pushed back his hips looking for friction and grinding against Remus. 

“ Oh Omega, Alpha knows what you need. ” Remus pulled out before thrusting in again, his pace brutal as he bent over the Omega, teeth grazing the other’s neck. 

Sirius pushed his weight back, meeting Remus thrust for thrust. He turned his head, exposing his neck for his Alpha, keening more for the grazing of teeth. 

**Claim our mate. He’s ours. Claim. Him.** The wolf growled inside Remus’ head. Remus was getting lost in the chocolate and clove scent that was uniquely Sirius. Pairing the intoxicating scent of the Omega with the wolf’s thoughts, Remus was losing himself. Sirius' scent surrounded him, invading every pore. 

What are you waiting for? He’s begging for it. My perfect Omega,  his alpha said in agreement, running his tongue over Sirius’ scent gland and groaning at the taste. How was it possible that he tasted even better than he smelled? The wolf and Alpha wanted nothing more than to take what they already saw as theirs. His canines grazed the sensitive skin, ready to sink into the waiting flesh. Just a little more pressure was needed and Sirius would be his. Only his. 

_“Alpha, please. Make me yours.”_ The desperate tone to his voice had both the wolf and Alpha practically screaming. One of Sirius’ hands reached behind, pressing Remus’ head gently into his neck. 

**Absolutely not! I’m not good enough for him. He deserves better than me. Better than all of us.** Remus growled back at them both. The other man was desperately pulling him closer, pressing Remus’ teeth hard against his neck as if they would break skin through his will alone.

Grasping at the last of his sanity, Remus reached for the hand holding him in place, and gently pressed it back to the bed. It took every ounce of willpower he possessed to turn his head away from the other man’s neck. Sirius whimpered in disappointment. **You hurt mate.** The wolf’s deep voice cut in.  You’ve upset our Omega. Fix it.  The Alpha growled angrily.

Ignoring the voices in his head Remus moved his hands to Sirius’ hips, trying his best to focus on the feeling of his cock burying itself repeatedly into the other man instead of the guilt and self disgust rolling off him in waves.  **Why did I agree to this again? It always ends like this.** He barely held back a growl of frustration. **This relationship isn’t fair to either of us ,** Remus thought, not for the first time since their arrangement started three years ago. Shaking his head of all thoughts, he returned his focus to the task before him. Reaching a hand around, he gripped Sirius’ prick and began to stroke him. 

Sirius buried his head into the pillow in front of him, all his words turning into unintelligible moans. 

Remus didn’t let up his pace, his hand matching the thrusts of his hips. He groaned as he felt his own cock starting to swell with each thrust. From the sounds and slick coming from Sirius, he knew he was getting close. Remus closed his mind to the wolf and Alpha, ignoring their pleas to claim. He knew Sirius was close to the brink of orgasm and his heat was almost over.  **Thrust in, pull out, pump fist, repeat.** Remus repeated those words as if they were his new mantra. 

Sirius’ cry of release brought Remus out of his trance in time to feel the warm cum spill over his hand. Sirius’ muscles contracted around Remus’ cock, pushing him over the edge, his knot swelling until he could do nothing but rut against Sirius’ arse. 

Sirius’ body collapsed as the last of his energy left him. Remus moved them to their sides, spooning Sirius as he fell asleep while he waited for his knot to go down. Remus gently pushed a strand of Sirius soft curls away from his face. He was always so beautiful while he slept. All the horrors of his past and the war seemed to slip away when he was curled in Remus’ arms, sound asleep. Without his permission, his arms drew Sirius tighter to him, feeling the calming heat that radiated from him. 

He hated this part. Knowing that, if he was better, he would claim Sirius as his without a second thought. But he wasn’t better and he most definitely couldn’t. Sirius needed to find himself an Alpha who could be there for him, care for him the way an Alpha is supposed to care for their Omega. Someone who wouldn’t have to abandon him one night every 28 days, or spend an entire day afterward too weak to do much more than eat. No, Remus wasn’t the Alpha that Sirius needed.

Remus’ knot had gone down enough that he was able to extract himself from Sirius. The Alpha noted the scent of the Omega was weaker now, his skin cooling down considerably. His heat is over now, it’s too late to mate him.You ruined our chances. Again!

The wolf made his displeasure known with a menacing snarl of agreement. 

Ignoring them both, Remus got up from the bed with one last look at Sirius’ sleeping form. He vowed to find Sirius an Alpha no matter how much it would destroy him to see him with another man. He dressed himself quietly and left the flat without looking back again. 


	2. Chapter 2- What if it’s Me

Sirius arched his back and winced, feeling the sore and stiff muscles all over his body. His thighs and arse were covered in a mixture of his own slick and Remus’ cum. The rest of him was sticky to the touch with half dried sweat. He was in desperate need of a hot shower and a fresh cuppa. Perhaps Remus would want one as well. It was more intimacy than he normally permitted outside of his heats, but something had felt different about this heat. He’d been so close to marking him, he just knew it. 

“Hey, Moons do you…” His voice died in his throat as he turned over to find nothing but an empty space behind him. The sheets were ice cold indicating that the other man had been gone for at least an hour or more. Because of his wolf, Remus ran nearly as hot as Sirius did during his heat at all times. 

He shut his eyes hard and gnashed his teeth, trying desperately to keep from sobbing. Sitting up, he buried his hands in his hair and yanked hard on the roots. How had he let this happen again? Before every one of his heats he told himself not to get his hopes up. Going through more than twelve heats with Remus had taught him not to expect any more than the required sex to keep him from going insane. It was a friend helping another. That’s all he’d ever be to Remus. So why the fuck did he feel like his heart had been ripped out of his chest every fucking time? 

Scalding tears of humiliation ran down his cheeks, carving a path through the now dry sweat caked on his cheeks. Merlin, he was such a fucking idiot. Stupid, sensitive, naive Sirius Black. Eyes clouded with tears, he grabbed the nearest object he could find on his bedside table, and lobbed it like a bludger at the opposite wall. Whatever it was shattered on impact and crumpled to the ground, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. Chest heaving, he threw the rest of the table’s contents against the wall. The sound of their breaking did little to soothe the ache in his chest. He pulled his knees up to his chest and pressed his head between them, trying his best to calm his breathing once again. 

The sad truth was that he was in love with Remus Lupin. He had been before he’d presented as an Omega, long before he had any right to feel such a thing for another person. Not that he had ever said anything to the other man. How could he? It was very clear those feelings weren’t in any way reciprocated. 

Aside from Remus, he hadn’t even been with anyone in a romantic sense. Not that what the two had could be called romantic. He’d never even been kissed. It was a hard and fast rule of the other man’s and, despite every inch of his body craving it, he was much too afraid of losing the small amount of closeness he was permitted during his heats. There was no doubt that he was absolutely pathetic, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. 

He’d never asked Remus if he’d been with anyone else. How could he? Finding out that he wasn’t the only one would feel worse than the most powerful crucio. Perhaps just as bad would be knowing he was the only one, and he still wasn’t worthy of being his mate. 

Raising his head, he grabbed his wand from the drawer of his bedside table. Throwing the covers back, he padded his way toward the wall, looking down at the shards of glass covering the far corner. Three corks were visible, having come loose from their glass potions vial. The few drops left of his contraceptive potion as well as the two nourishment potions for during his heat were turning the glass curious colours. He vanished the clear glass before moving on to the next object. 

The black chunks of Remus’ favourite coffee mug was sitting in the corner. Apparently he had forgotten to bring it with him when he’d decided to pull his vanishing act. Barely resisting the urge to vanish it as well, he cast a quick reparo and set it on the dresser nearby. 

He almost missed the black photo frame nestled in the far corner. Bending down, careful to avoid the glass, he flipped it over to see the photo itself. The moving picture was of the start of his sixth year, two months before he had presented. Before everything changed between the two boys. James and he were in the center, smiling and laughing at some joke he couldn’t remember. Peter was grinning wide on James’ other side, a snack of some kind in his hand. Remus was unusually close to Sirius, arm wrapped around his shoulders, with his own lightly around the other man’s waist. The two laughed and briefly locked eyes before facing the camera again. 

Back then he’d been more than content with the small amount of affection he had garnered. That was when he had thought he’d have a chance to take things slow, to prove to Remus that they were right for one another. Clearly that had gone tits up very soon after. Still, he would hold on to the picture as a beacon of hope. Now it felt like the men in the picture were mocking him. Laughing at his misfortune, at his foolish dreams of a future where anyone could want him; where Remus could want him. Scoffing, he threw the picture frame into his dresser without repairing the cracked glass. 

Sirius stomped into his bathroom and turned on the taps, putting his wand on the counter. Looking into the mirror, he had to physically turn away from his reflection. His hair was mussed from the days of constant fucking, which on it’s own wouldn’t bother him too much. No, it was the marks and bruises covering his pale skin. The entirety of the flesh around his scent gland was purple with hickeys and love bites. A perfect outline of Remus’ fingers was visible on each of his hips from where he had been held in place as he entered him again and again. They weren’t the marks of a lover, but the marks of obligation. That’s all Sirius truly was: a charity case that Remus felt responsible for. 

Jaw set, he stepped into the steaming hot shower and grabbed his shampoo, scrubbing his scalp with his nails just a bit too hard. After massaging his conditioner in with an equal amount of unnecessary force, he pressed his back against the cold tile wall and closed his eyes, letting the water run over him. Even in his lust filled haze, he could vividly remember every touch and caress the Alpha had given the Omega. The sweet nothings and promises had done nothing but increase the attachment and longing his Omega felt for the other man’s Alpha. The man’s scent still clung to him like a cruel reminder of his abandonment. 

Trying his best to block all thoughts of Remus and his blasted heats behind him, Sirius grabbed a loofah and covered it with a generous amount of body wash. He scrubbed viciously at his skin until every inch was red raw under the shower’s spray. Rinsing his body and the conditioner still left in his hair, he turned off the shower. Forgetting his sore muscles and steadfastly refusing to look in the mirror, Sirius walked into the bedroom, a towel slung low around his hips and wand in hand. 

His hair was dripping down his face, but he had finally stopped crying. That was a win for him at least. Wailing like some fifth year girl wasn’t going to help matters. It was time for him to pull it together and move on. At least until his next heat. 

Moving to his wardrobe, he pulled out a set of pants and an old band t-shirt. Walking toward his door, he stopped dead in his tracks. The scent of pine trees, fresh rain, and bergamot assaulted his senses. 

_ Alpha _ the breezy voice of his Omega said in his mind. 

_ No. Not fucking Alpha. _ He growled in response. Waving his wand, he summoned the bed sheets into a pile on the floor. Then he grabbed his pillow, pulling off the case and throwing it on top. He grabbed the other pillow, ready to pull the case off it as well, but paused. Despite his better instincts, he pressed his face into the cotton and inhaled deeply. 

_ Alpha.  _ The blasted voice called out again, forcing him to take greedy lungfuls of the scent while he shivered slightly. Shaking his head, he tossed the pillow back on the bed, leaving the case on. He’d deal with it later. Probably. Maybe. 

“Fuck,” he nearly yelled and threw his door open, storming out of the room. Reaching the kitchen, the scent of bacon and eggs filled the room. 

“Oh, Master Sirius. I was hoping you’d be down soon. Gritchen, has made your favourite, he has,” the small elf said excitedly. His black pillow case dress was freshly pressed, and a wide smile was painted across his face. Sirius had inherited the house-elf with the house and gold left to him by his Uncle Alphard. Besides Andromeda, he was the only family member that had ever shown him anything like love. Unlike Kreacher, who had served his cold and hateful parents and aloof brother, Gritchen had been loved and taken care of by his Master. It was no wonder that he was all too happy to serve Sirius as faithfully as he had serves his Uncle. 

“Good morning, Gritchen. It smells wonderful, thank you,” Sirius said, sitting at the table and digging into the plate of food the elf placed in front of him. He was positively ravenous after going without a proper meal for the better part of three days. 

It had been one of his shorter heats, and, somehow, it was both a relief and a disappointment. His heats were the one time he got to pretend that someone could care for him in the way he desperately craved. Remus never stayed long after his heats ended, but he had never just left him before. Having such little time with him during the heat itself only made the whole ordeal worse. 

He supposed Remus wasn’t the only one to blame for the lack of contact he had with him these days, though. Albus Fucking Dumbledore was always sending him off into the line of fire. It was as if he thought that allowing Remus to attend Hogwarts had indebted him to the bastard for life. Despite what everyone else seemed to think, Sirius didn’t trust the man farther than he could throw James’ animagus form. 

He talked a big game about the greater good, but never risked himself personally. No, the man was a master manipulator of the worst kind. How no one else saw it, he didn’t know, but he supposed he was the lesser of two evils in all of this. In light of the fact that the other wizard was leading a tirade that would see everyone he actually cared about killed, he fought with the Order to protect them. 

Since they had graduated Hogwarts, he’d been sure to take advantage of each of the marauders and their various talents. Sirius and James were Aurors in training, and, as such, had access to files that were otherwise inaccessible. Especially since Frank and Alice Longbottom got panicked at the very thought of being so sneaky. They were dedicated to the cause, but such delicate matters were better left to the professionals. 

Peter’s culinary talents had him in charge of coordinating meal needs. It wasn’t exclusively for meetings, as it had first been thought when Albus approached him. Instead, he also made sure that those in the safe houses didn’t go hungry. Best of all, he would often leave food for James, Sirius, and Lily when they were too busy to cook for themselves. 

Of course all of that paled in comparison to what the last member of the quartet had been tasked with. The contriving cunt of a man had used the one thing Remus hated about himself as a tool. He’d heard Voldemort was trying to get the werewolf packs to join his army, so, in his infinite wisdom, he’d sent Remus to parlay with them on The Order’s behalf. Despite the fact that the young man hated everything about being infected with lycanthropy, despite the fact he had never been around other wolves aside from when he was bitten all those years ago, and despite the fact that there was a very real possibility that they would smell the wizard on him and slaughter him on sight, the devious git sent him to any pack they could find. 

All of that was more than enough cause for Sirius to hate the man, but the mother fucking cherry on top, was that they weren’t permitted to have any contact with Remus unless absolutely imperative. Checking that he was still bloody alive apparently didn’t fall into that category. His heat was the first time he had seen Remus since the one before, and each day his resentment for the old man grew until it felt like a slimy second skin. Each time he saw the man, his stomach would roll and anger would burn like fire through his veins. 

Any time he brought it up to James, he dismissed it all. 

“He wouldn’t send him unless there was a good reason, Padfoot. He’s one of the good guys, you know,” he’d laugh. “Besides, Moony’s tough. He can handle himself.” 

Angrily finishing his breakfast, he bid Gritchen goodbye, shutting himself back in his room. He still had the day off to compensate for his heat and didn’t much feel like being around anyone else in his current mood. Sealing his eyes shut, he climbed into his bed, wrapping his arms tight around the Remus scented pillow. 

Perhaps it was his Omega or the love he couldn’t quite shake for the sandy haired, green eyed man. He didn’t bloody care and, quite frankly, it didn’t fucking matter. Everyone else seemed unconcerned with Remus’ safety, even the man himself, so Sirius sat alone in his bed for hours, worrying himself sick, until he fell asleep with tears in his eyes, cursing the world for having him give his heart to someone who would never love him in return. 


	3. Chapter 3- When You Think of Home Tonight

The stench that came with the horde of wild wolf packs always made Remus ill. **Just because we’re animals for one bloody night every twenty-eight days doesn’t mean we have to live like them. ** Looking around, Remus could see that the smell came from a past hunt. The uneaten carnage was left laying on the forest floor, bones from deer, bears, and the occasional fellow magical creature. This particular smell was coming from a Mooncalf corpse that must have been from the full moon, which was five days past. At least this time Remus didn’t see any obvious human bones around it as well.

 **Find alpha. Talk to him. Home to mate,** his wolf rumbled in his mind. Surprisingly, the beast didn’t like being around other wolves anymore than the human did. While that was a slight comfort to Remus, he wasn’t particularly fond of his address when it came to Sirius. 

Remus growled low and threatening in response. He was tired. He wanted to get this mission done for Albus so that he could focus on his own personal mission: finding an Alpha for Sirius. The Alpha he deserved, an Alpha that didn’t have to leave when his heat was over, an Alpha that could mark and claim him. He could see how badly he craved having a permanent Alpha, but Remus knew he didn’t deserve an Omega like Sirius no matter what Sirius, the Alpha, or his Wolf thought. Remus only hoped that another Alpha would not hold it against Sirius that he had been with a less than perfect Alpha. It wasn’t his fault after all. Sirius was everything the perfect Omega should be, which was precisely the problem. 

Honestly, Remus just wanted his best friend back. He wished he could go back to when they were sixteen, young, carefree; when their biggest worry was when the next full moon would be and what trouble they would cause for Minerva in the meantime. At one point he had been closer with Sirius than any other person in his life. Now their relationship was nothing but pain and constant heartache for the both of them. The last thing Sirius needed was more pain. His parents had caused more than enough, and it tore through his chest knowing that he was only adding to it. All because he was too stubborn and selfish when it came to actually finding the Omega another Alpha.

You wouldn’t have this problem if you claimed your mate. The annoyingly familiar voice cut in. He belongs to us not some other Alpha. The Alpha inside him had been silent since he left the flat three days ago. I will rip their throats out for him. For my Omega. No one will take what is mine. His Alpha hid his hurt behind anger and he was currently very angry with Remus. It was certainly nothing new; this happened after every heat. Remus knew that, in a few days, his Alpha would calm down until the next heat arrived. 

Remus knew that he wouldn’t immediately be able to speak with the pack’s leader, but didn’t want to stay here any longer than absolutely necessary. The longer he stayed with wolf packs, the more he felt his animalistic nature take over. 

Remus didn’t feel comfortable lying to get the wolves on their side and he wasn’t confident in Dumbledore’s ability to deliver on his promises. Werewolves – especially werewolf packs – would never be accepted into general society in the wizarding world, no matter what the twinkly-eyed man tried to convince him of. Although he disliked the idea of the wolves going to Voldemort's side even more. He would use them as nothing more than a weapon to bring about fear and pain. **As if werewolves weren’t despised enough already,** Remus scoffed mentally.

 **Smells foul. Not like home with Mate.** The wolf sniffed and recoiled at the stench he was met with. **Mate smells good.** He remembered fondly, almost as if he were caressing the memory of Sirius. **Pack Alpha bad Alpha. Pack dirty.**

 **What do you mean he’s a bad Alpha?** Remus thought to the wolf. He’d never heard his wolf judge another for being unhygenic. 

**Not good camp for my pack,** he grumbled in response. Remus couldn’t help but smile at the reminder of the Marauders waiting for him back home. **Mate and pack need clean camp. Need taken care of. Pack Alpha have dirty camp.** The wolf’s distaste was evident in the bite of each of his words. 

It had been a week since Remus had arrived at the wolf camp and he wasn’t any closer to talking with the pack’s Alpha then he had been the first day he arrived. He’d been denied an audience with him three times already and he didn’t have high hopes for tonight’s attempt. He wanted nothing more than to hex Albus for sending him here in the first place. 

**Tonight’s plan is to sit next to him at dinner. We’re going have to risk it since he won’t see us otherwise.** He surprisingly needed his wolf and Alpha’s reassurance here. This was really a job more suited to them than the man who was in control. 

**Bad idea. Pack Alpha not nice Alpha. Not worth dying before claiming Mate.** The wolf said as if behind gritted teeth. 

The faster you accomplish the old man’s mission, the sooner we return to our Omega. 

**We are not returning to Sirius. We get this done and find him a real Alpha,** Remus growled back. He wished the wolf and Alpha would let it go, he didn’t make the decision to not claim Sirius lightly. It was the most painful decision he’d ever made and he tore himself up well enough without those two reminding him of it.

Remus made his way to the small clearing where the pack gathered for meals. Large branches lined the clearing, the ones in the center were flattened on top as makeshift tables. A sign that at least some of their humanity has still been retained. He caught sight of the pack’s Alpha and made his way to sit next to him. Like all the other male wolves, the Alpha wore nothing but a pair of almost threadbare trousers. His hair was a dirty blonde and long past his shoulders in it’s shaggy and tangled state. He was muscular and lightly tanned from all the time spent under the sun.

“Alpha Walliams,” Remus gave a nod of respect to the pack’s leader as he cautiously moved to the empty spot next to him. The night’s dinner, much to Remus’ relief, was a beef stew. There weren't enough warming charms for the cold January air that lingered. At least the snow had been melted by the other wizards in the camp before he had arrived. When the man still hadn’t acknowledged him, he continued. 

“Alpha Walliams, you know why I’m here. Albus Dumbledore wants you to know that if you join him and The Order of the Phoenix, he’ll make sure your pack can live amongst the rest of the Wizarding World.” Remus just wanted to get this over with. He didn’t really feel like he had to sell it. He knew what the answer would be, so why even bother trying?

“Oh, young Alpha, why would we want to live among humans when we are free to live here without persecution?” The older Alpha spoke kindly but didn’t try to hide his displeasure at being treated like he was foolish enough to accept such an offer. “We live here free from the rest of the world. We hunt when we need food and, as long as we stay away from the human population, the ministry lets us be. So no, we will not be joining in your war against this Dark Lord, but please stay with us for some time and see how freely you can live among your own people. Perhaps you will find you like this life much better than the one wizards have chosen for you.” 


	4. Chapter 4- The Very Thing That Fells Me

Months. It had been literal fucking months since Sirius had gotten any word about Remus. He’d asked around at Order meetings, but no one seemed to know anything. If the mighty Dumbledore knew anything, he certainly wasn’t sharing that information with everyone else. For all Sirius knew, the love of his life could be torn apart in some field and the manipulative old man was refusing to share the news in his pursuit of the greater bloody good. 

Order meetings had been particularly aggravating as of late. Everytime the old wrinkled man addressed the group, Sirius’ Omega felt the need to chip in.

_ His fault,  _ the usually serene voice would growl.  _ Alpha would be with us if it weren’t for him.  _ More than once, Sirius had had to physically stop himself from baring his teeth at Dumbledore. He was sure Remus deciding not to mate him had nothing to do with the wizard, but at least Sirius had one ally in his hatred of the man. Even if it was in his own head.

They had gotten news from an informant that Voldemort had managed to get at least one pack on his side. The pack led by none other than Fenrir Greyback. The name alone made his skin crawl and the threat he presented was all too real. Apparently Fenrir himself was going to be sent out to other packs on Voldemort’s behalf, and, unlike Remus, he was unlikely to take no for an answer, which, of course, only amped up the risk to him in the long run. 

Yet again, Sirius seemed to be the only one concerned by the lack of news on their friend. Plenty of the Order members were hesitant about Remus and, quite frankly, Sirius didn’t give a fuck about their opinions. James and Peter, however, were another matter entirely. The man who had inflicted him with bloody lycanthropy, the one man Remus feared above all else, was out and about doing the same job that he was. It was like playing with fucking fiendfyre, but only Remus would end up getting burned. 

Of course that wasn’t entirely true. Sirius was sure that the very tenuous hold he had on his self control would snap without the other man there to care for him. If Remus went down, Sirius was going to bring the world down with him. 

Everyday was spent flashing between burning anger and crippling depression. The scent of Remus on his pillow was long gone, but he still couldn’t find it in himself to wash it. He was desperately clinging to anything that could somehow prove he wasn’t left alone. 

_ Alpha will come. Alpha will take care of us.  _ The soft voice of his Omega flooded his thoughts as he laid on the bed with the pillow clutched hard against his chest. Usually he took comfort in the soothing tone drifting through his mind, but since his last heat it had done nothing but fuel his fury. 

_ Don’t you get it!? He doesn’t care. He doesn’t want us! _ He hadn’t intended to say the words out loud, but the echo off his walls made it clear that he had. His body was physically shaking now. In rage or despair, he wasn’t sure, but the tremors that wracked his body were almost as bad as those he’d had as a teenager after suffering under his darling mother’s cruciatus curse. At least then he could think about his friends waiting for him when it was all over, of course. The excruciating pain of a crucio was nothing compared to the ache those words left in him. 

_ No. You are wrong.  _ The voice was stern as if it was scolding him.  _ He will come like he always does.  _ Sirius was unbelievably frustrated with himself as tears started forming in his eyes once again.  _ You will see.  _

He went to scoff once again, but found his breath leaving his lungs. An all too familiar searing heat clawed up his spine. It felt as if a hot poker was being dragged across his bare skin, burning through his every nerve-ending. After years he was incredibly familiar with the sensation.

His breath was coming in heavy desperate pants. Since his heats had started they had been on a precise schedule. Both he and Remus could have plotted them on a calendar. Which was precisely what had Sirius in such a panic. His heat wasn’t meant to come on for another twenty-four hours.  _ Fuck no. It’s not time. _

Even if Remus was planning to return to help him through the heat, it would be too late. The only reason Sirius had been able to go unclaimed by any other Alpha was due to Remus’ presence when his heat came on. No other Alpha would dare come near him with another’s scent mixed with his own, but Remus’ scent was long gone from the apartment. There was nothing to keep them at bay and his wards would do nothing to hold back an Alpha sent into rut by the smell of his heat. 

Sweat was pooling on his skin and he winced inwardly as he noted the familiar wave of slick now coating his arse.  _ Think, Black. You have to do something damn it. Think! _

“Gritchen!” The house-elf’s name slid between gritted teeth. 

“Does… Master Sirius!” The small elf’s eyes went impossibly wider as he took in his quivering master’s form. “What does Gritchen do?” His voice was laced with panic. 

“James… I need Master James.” Sirius’ voice sounded like a desperate whine as it became harder for him to ignore the throbbing need quickly filling him. 

“Yes, Master Sirius.” The small elf popped away. 

_ Not friend. We need Alpha.  _ The dreamy voice said.

_ Thanks to you we may not get a choice! _ He snapped back trying to slow his breathing.  _ I hope you’re happy. When we are bound to some horrible, thoughtless Alpha it will be entirely your fault. _

Gritchen returned moments later with a confused and boxer clad James Potter. 

“Bloody hell, Gritchen, what…” The raven haired man sniffed the air once, and snapped his eyes onto his friend who was now panting helplessly. His hazel irises were overtaken by wide-blown pupils from the scent of Sirius’ heat. Despite being an Alpha, James posed no actual threat to Sirius or his Omega. Lily was James’ mate, and his Alpha recognized that as much as he did. The scent of an Omega in heat would result in a basic reaction, but he had no desire to act on it. 

“Prongs… Please.” Sirius had his eyes closed in embarrassment as he used every bit of his willpower to keep from fucking himself in front of the other man. 

“Bollocks. Where’s Moony? I thought you two had this worked out. Shite.” Gritchen stood behind James, wringing his hands. 

“Master Sirius has one day till his heat. Gritchen knows. Gritchen prepared.” Trying to quell some of the heat, Sirius threw off his shirt and began struggling with his pants. Wide-eyed James turned around looking at the elf. 

“Fuck, okay. Gritchen, I need you to take Master Sirius to Grimmauld Place.”

“No.” Sirius' tone was more of a whine then he had intended it to be. The sense of despair and dread that filled Sirius at the thought of returning to his childhood home wrapped taut around his throat, stealing all air from him. Especially in as vulnerable a state as his heat left him. 

“I’m sorry Padfoot, but it’s the only way to keep you safe. Grimmauld is under a Fidelius so no one else will be able to get to you before I can bring Moony.” His shoulders sagged as he ran a hand through his already messy hair.

It was either accept the location or the chance that some random brute would take him by force. Despite all indications to the contrary, Sirius held out hope that maybe Remus would want him someday. He couldn’t risk losing that. Sirius all but sobbed as he nodded his approval to Gritchen.The small elf moved closer to grab hold of his wrist. 

“I promise to be as quick as I can, Padfoot. Just trust me.” James’ statement was followed by the sharp crack of apparition. 

The next moment found Sirius on a sofa in the main living room of Number Twelve Grimmauld Place. His last coherent thought before the heat clouded his mind and the Omega took over was that he hoped, for once in his life, that the little voice inside his head was right.


	5. Chapter 5- I’ll Be a Better Man Today

Remus was gathering his meager possessions, tonight he had to return to London for Sirius’ heat cycle to start tomorrow. He had hoped to find another Apha for his friend by now but he had stayed with the wolf pack. Much to his inner wolf's dismay, he had actually quite enjoyed it. He hated the pack's rules of not wearing a shirt – he didn’t relish in having to show off his scars from when Fenir bit him – but, overall, living free of responsibility for the last three months had been a nice reprieve. 

**I’ll talk to Alpha Walliams one last time before we leave,** Remus vowed. At least then he could tell Albus that he did what he came to do. He put the last of his belongings in his bag and made his way to the forest clearing for lunch. The pack leader was sitting on the far side of the clearing, his Beta and personal Omega on either side of him. 

**Looks like I won’t be talking to him now. Maybe after lunch, then.** Remus went and made his way to an empty log and ate his lunch alone. Even in a pack, he still preferred to keep to himself. The small hairs on his neck rose just as a bright blue stag pranced into camp. 

“Moony, get to Padfoots’ flat. Now. He’s started early. He needs you here Moons. Don’t leave him like this. Fuck, just hurry, please.” The patronus bowed its head to the wolf before dissipating in thin air. If it was possible for a patronus to look panicked, this stag surely did. 

Remus sat there shell shocked for a moment as the patronus’ message just hung in the air. Snap out of it. Our Omega needs us. Go to him now. The Alpha growled. **Mate. Go to mate.** The wolf grumbled in agreement. Remus shook his head clear as the message finally took place in his thoughts. Without hesitation he apperated straight to Sirius’ living room.

As soon as his feet landed on the soft carpet of the flat, Remus barreled out of the room in search of Sirius. Not hearing James calling after him. His mind was focused on finding Sirius. Sirius needed him now, not James. James could wait. He made his way to the Omega’s bedroom, growling when he appeared to a completely empty room. 

“Moony!” James came running into the room. “Moons, he’s not here. Gritchen took him to Grimmauld. It wasn’t safe…” Remus didn’t even wait to hear the rest of James’ speech, he turned on the spot and landed on the troll leg guarding the entryway of 12 Grimmauld Place. The smell of chocolate and clove was so strong he was nearly knocked off his feet as it washed over him.

“Siri!” Remus cried out, he needed to know that Sirius was safe, that some random Alpha hadn’t found him here. Remus knew he couldn’t have Sirius for himself but he didn’t realize until now how much he didn’t want anyone else to have him, no matter how misguided that line of thinking was. It contradicted everything he had set out to do. He should be happy if another Alpha had found Sirius and was helping him through his heat. 

_“Alpha.”_ The word was a mixture of a whimper and desperate moan. It was clear from the thick scent of the Omega’s arousal, that Sirius was far past rational thought. The sound of what could only be slick hands on the other man’s body echoed down the hall. 

**Alpha?** Maybe he was too late but he needed to find out for sure. Who knew how long Sirius was here before James’ patronus found him. He turned the corner into the sitting room to find Sirius laying on the settee with his knees drawn up to his chest, three of his own fingers thrusting deep within his slicked hole. Relief rushed through Remus as he saw the Omega alone but it was quickly washed away by the guilt he felt at Sirius trying to take care of himself. He knew from some of his previous heats that he wasn’t getting any actual relief from the action, and the desperate look in his grey eyes told Remus everything he needed to know. 

Sirius looked up as Remus closed the space between them in two large strides. “ _Alpha_.” Sirius whimpered as he tried to pull Remus down to him. 

“Come on Siri. Let’s get you upstairs and I’ll take such sweet care of you.” Remus was fighting to stay in control as the Alpha tried to take over fully. He moved his arms around Sirius’ waist trying to pull him up to stand. “That’s it Siri, I’ve got you. I’m going to make it better, I promise.” 

Sirius’ bare body pressed hard against him, mouth moving to his neck just below his ear kissing and lapping at it as if it were his favourite dessert. His cock was hard against Remus’ stomach as he tried to pull himself closer. “ _Knew you’d come. My Alpha._ ” The dreamy voice of the Omega met Remus’ ears. The Omega’s scent was practically dripping off him as he began grinding against him desperately. 

Remus groaned as their bodies moved against each other, he was desperately trying to hold on as he walked them out of the sitting room. They only got as far as the landing in front of the stairs when Sirius started kissing and biting at the left side of Remus’ neck, exposing his scent gland to Remus. “Oh fuck, Siri.” The last thing Remus remembered before the Alpha took over was the Omega’s chocolate and clove scent invading his nostrils. 

Remus ripped his pants off as Sirius continued to grind up against him. The other man shivered, moaning deeply. Sirius’ knees buckled when Remus licked and nibbled at his neck. Remus lifted him up and braced him against the wall, lifting Sirius legs up around his waist, implaling his prick deep inside Sirius in one smooth motion. Both men groaned as they rutted against each other.

Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus’ neck, curling his fingers deep in Remus hair. Sinking down each time Remus thrusted up.

Upon hearing a wailing screech, Remus regained control from his Alpha.

“HALF-BLOOD, CREATURE FILTH! VIOLATING THE ANCIENT AND NOBLE HOUSE OF BLACK” Remus smirked as he heard the portrait of Sirius’ mother insult him. “YOU AND THAT SORRY EXCUSE OF A SON. YOU CALL YOURSELF A BLACK HEIR?” The insults towards Sirius drew a deep growl from the Alpha. What the woman thought of him was nothing compared to how he viewed himself. Sirius, on the other hand, was completely off limits.

Sirius pulled back a bit from Remus, his eyes locking with the other man’s. The glazed look he often had during his heat faded for a brief moment. Grinding his hips down harder, a mischievous smirk spread across his face. “Let's give her a show, Remi.” The words were a breathy whimper as he rested his forehead against Remus’. 

Remus closed the small gap between them, capturing Sirius’ lips with his own. Licking his bottom lip seeking entrance. At Sirius’ small gasp, Remus took that as all the permission he needed. His tongue slid into Sirius’ mouth, tasting every inch he could reach. Sirius, for his part, completely surrendered to his will, sucking lightly. His mouth tasted like his favourite tea, and chocolate biscuits. After spending so much time away Sirius tasted like home, and he couldn’t seem to get enough of it. 

Remus moaned deeply into Sirius' mouth. He’d never been so aroused. He picked up the pace of his thrusts, which were a little awkward in this position, but he made it work. He couldn’t get enough of the Omega in his arms and, from the sounds coming from Sirius, he couldn’t get enough either. 

“DISGUSTING BLOOD TRAITOR OMEGA!” The portrait spat from behind them.

How dare she talk about my Omega! My Omega is precious. I’ll rip her to shreds. The Alpha had taken back over at the insinuation that his Omega was anything other than perfect. 

Remus indulged his Alpha this once, he briefly broke the kiss with Sirius to address the wailing portrait. Pressing Sirius more into the wall and baring his weight on his right arm, he moved his left behind him and stuck his middle finger high in the air. “Get fucked, you old cunt,” he growled before returning his lips back to Sirius’ mouth. Nibbling his way across his bottom lip and down his jaw. 

Remus made his way to Sirius’ neck, never letting up as his mouth explored every bit of Sirius he could reach. He settled right below the other man’s ear, alternating between a soft nibble and a sharp bite, following with a soothing lick. 

“Fuck, Siri,” he moaned. “Merlin, you’re so beautiful. You feel so good. Taking my cock like the good little Omega you are.” 

A shiver ran down the other man’s spine as he arched his back, leaning back into the wall a bit. “I need you, fuck. Remi, stay with me please.” His eyes were clenched shut as Remus sucked on his scent gland. “Don’t want anyone but you. So fucking good.” 

“I’ve got you Siri. I’m going to make you feel so good.” Remus murmured as he continued to thrust deep into the Omega, angling to hit his prostate every time he entered the deep cavern. Sirius’ muscles spasmed and clenched around his prick, as if he was trying to pull him in deeper. Remus gripped his hips tighter, his nails digging into the skin, leaving crescent moon shapes in their place. 

“Please.” Sirius’ eyes locked on to Remus’ pupils wide and hips desperately pushing toward him. “I need… Remi.” The words from his mouth were nearly unintelligible as his cock was pressed between them desperately seeking friction. 

“Cum for me, Siri,” Remus whispered as he brought his hand up to stroke Sirius’ cock. “That’s it, you’re so fucking perfect.” 

Sirius groaned at the contact, the new sensation sending him barreling over the edge as his orgasm tore through his entire body. Shuddering as his cum spilled over Remus’ calloused hand that was still pumping him through the aftershocks. 

Remus bit down on Sirius' shoulder, smothering the moan lodged in his throat as he felt his prick swell while he emptied his seed inside him. 

“LOWERING YOURSELF TO A FILTHY BEAST! I DIDN'T THINK YOU COULD SINK YOURSELF ANY LOWER” The portrait continued shrieking, not caring that the men were paying her no mind. 

“It’s one time in my life she ever watched me play.” Sirius smirked coyly. “What do you think she thought of our little performance?” 

“I think she’s our biggest fan,” Remus chuckled as he took all of Sirius’ weight into his arms and carried him back into the sitting room. He sat down on the settee, taking care to not jostle Sirius too much as his knot was still fully inserted inside the man. 

Sirius rested his head on Remus’ shoulder, catching his breath and relishing in the small moment of relief he’d been given. His body was still radiating the warmth that accompanied his heat but Remus didn’t mind. He brought one hand up to his head and was stroking his fingers through the long curly hair while the other rubbed down his back trying to soothe his aching muscles. 

For just a moment he let himself think how he could get used to holding him like this, how perfectly Sirius fit in his arms as if he was made especially for him. He could easily get lost in Sirius if he wasn’t careful. His carefree, ‘give em hell’ attitude had drawn Remus in from the very beginning. Sirius was everything he would want in a partner. Incredibly handsome, brave, and truly had a heart of gold under that leather jacket bad boy persona he gave off to the world.

 **Mate is happy.** The wolf had been silent since well before they had left the wolf camp. **Make strong pups with him.**

Omega would look beautiful heavy with our child. The Alpha pulled Sirius flush against him, nuzzling his nose into his neck, prompting a content sigh from Sirius. He’s made for us.

Remus rolled his eyes at their dialogue but he didn’t feel any disdain towards them. He could see how beautiful Sirius would look pregnant and adding the thought that it was his child growing in his womb would make his heart soar. His cock twitched at the thought and he let out a small groan before he even knew what happened. 

He felt the mixture of Sirius’ slick and his own cum as it dripped down the inside of his thigh. A clear sign his knot had finally receded. Just then he realized that Sirius had been trying to get his attention while he had been lost in his own dream world. 

“Remi? You with me?” Sirius smirked up at Remus, his grey eyes peeking through his lashes. 

Remus bit his lip in response, too embarrassed to talk yet. 

“I’ll take that as a yes then,” Sirius laughed as he shifted slightly from his position on the Alpha’s lap. Remus’ half hard cock twitched slightly at the movement, prompting a strangled moan. “Already ready to take me again?” Rolling his hips with purpose, Sirius lifted himself an inch or so off Remus’ lap and dropped back down again. “Do you know how amazing your cock feels buried in me?”

“Fuck,” Remus hissed between his teeth and Sirius started up a teasing rhythm from above him. He shook his head in response to Sirius’ question, secretly hoping the man would keep doing the talking so he could just sit and admire him some more. 

“I sure hope so.” The Omega gave a salacious smile, riding him tortuously slow. His head was leaned back, pale neck on full display for Remus. “I’ve been thinking about this for months.” The pace was steadily picking up and Remus was hard once again, moaning at the slowly growing puddle of slick leaking from Sirius’ arse on each upward stroke. “Merlin, it’s always better than I remembered.” Leaning forward Sirius braced himself on Remus’ shoulders. 

Remus groaned lightly in agreement, not trusting his voice at the moment. He had never let Sirius take control like this, but he could easily get used to watching him sink down on his cock in reckless abandon. His hands found Sirius’ waist, helping him keep up the rhythm. 

**Mate. Beautiful Mate,** the wolf purred just as the Omega tightened his grip on Remus’ shoulders. 

My Omega is always beautiful. He’s perfect for us, the Alpha said lovingly. 

**He’s always been beautiful. Especially when he’s relaxed like he is now. The best was during Quidditch, he was so carefree, not a worry in the world. He’s always been beautiful and perfect.** Remus agreed with his Alpha. He was tired of trying to fight his feelings for Sirius. He’d been fighting it for years now. 

“Look at you, taking my cock so beautifully.” Remus trailed his hands back to Sirius’ arse, squeezing and rocking him forward as he sank back down on his cock. “Fuck Siri, you’re so fucking perfect.” Remus closed the small gap between them and kissed along Sirius' neck to nuzzle behind his ear.

“You’re not too bad yourself,” Sirius tried to say it as if he was unaffected, but when Remus pushed up just as he sank down he gave a low moan. “Fuck. Okay, you’re bloody gorgeous. Is that what you want to hear?” The words were thick with lust as he looked down at the Alpha with half lidded eyes. 

“Well, it’s a start, anyway.” Remus smiled against Sirius’ neck, inhaling his sweet scent mixed with the smell of sex. Thrusting up again to meet Sirius as he ground down. 

“I guess I’ll have to try harder then.” Sirius smirked and pushed Remus back a bit to kiss him hard. He tried slowing his hips to a teasing pace, throwing the other man off rhythm completely. 

Remus broke off the kiss when he realized what Sirius was doing to him. “Oh, no you don’t. You had your fun but that arse is mine.” He gripped onto Sirius’ hips and dragged him back down. Setting up a much more brutal pace, meeting him every other thrust. 

“Couldn’t… let me… have one.” The sentence was punctuated with a series of groans as he let Remus guide him over his cock. Despite his words, it was clear by the way he was steadily tightening around the Alpha, that he was loving every second. 

“Well, I am the Alpha, Sirius Black.” Remus’ tone was playful but with a hint of possessiveness to it. He knew in this moment that he could never give Sirius up. Sirius looked so wanton, with his head thrown back, and the constant moans that escaped his throat without him being aware. Hearing the intelligible whispered chanting of Alpha was enough to spur Remus close to the edge of orgasm. His cock was slowly starting to thicken at the base. “Cum for me, Siri. I know you can cum for me again.” 

Without slowing their pace, Remus ground Sirius’ arse against him, rocking him back and forth without ever leaving the tightening muscles. Moving one hand to Sirius’ cock he began stroking him in time with his thrusts. It wasn’t long before he felt the warm liquid spill over his hand. Sirius clenching tightly around his cock was all it took to push Remus over the edge, filling the Omega, his knot keeping even a single drop from escaping. 

Sirius’ head dropped down to Remus' shoulder, his body slumped against him. “Siri.” Remus gave his shoulder a small nudge, trying to get Sirius’ attention. All he got in response was incomprehensible grumbles and Sirius nuzzling in even closer, resting his head in the crook of Remus’ neck. 

Remus wrapped his arms around Sirius’ back, holding him close to him. He bent his neck down to rest his head on the top of Sirius’. He breathed in the scent of Sirius’ shampoo mixed with sweat; even after two rounds of sex, his hair still managed to smell clean. He let the smell surround him, calming him, centering him. That’s what Sirius Black did to him. The vivacious, lively man was the center of Remus’ world. It was absurd since he’d spent the entirety of his adult life trying to let the man go. Remus held him until his knot decreased enough to separate them, and even a little bit longer, not wanting to wake Sirius just yet. 

When Remus’ legs started to tingle with numbness, he once again attempted to jostle Sirius awake, but it appeared that the Omega was dead to the world. “Let’s get you upstairs, Siri,” Remus murmured softly as he adjusted his arms around Sirius to carry him up the stairs. 

**Fuck, I don’t know where his room is , **Remus thought to himself as he reached the landing and was faced with the longest hallway he’d ever seen. That was saying something considering he spent seven bloody years at Hogwarts. 

You have a nose, don’t you? Just follow his scent, the Alpha snidely advised. Remus could feel the mental eye roll as if he’d done it himself. 

Following the faint scent that had been embedded into the magic of the house, Remus found Sirius’ room about halfway down the hall. He should have known this was Sirius’s room upon seeing five different types of muggle locks on the door. The reason for those locks became abundantly clear when Remus entered the room. Lining the walls were posters of countless shirtless men with sandy brown hair provocatively posing on muggle motorbikes. All of these men had some variation of either green or amber eyes that seemed to convey innocence in spite of their shirtless state and extremely tight pants. 

“Well I guess you do have a type, ay Siri.” He chuckled at the still sleeping man in his arms. Remus blushed at the realization that these men all struck a resemblance to him, not that you would find him in that attire. Or bent over a motorbike for that matter. Remus wondered how long ago the posters had been put on the wall. **He hasn’t lived here since before he presented as an Omega and that was three years ago.**

He’s always been our mate, he knew it even then. Before he knew what it meant to be our mate, he knew. Remus smiled fondly at his Alpha’s warm feelings for Sirius. 

Remus made his way to the king sized bed in the middle of the room and gently deposited Sirius, moving him only to get him under the covers. Remus curled himself around Sirius, holding him close as he drifted off to what he knew would be a short sleep. 

He had no idea how very correct he was. It seemed like every time he was more intimate with Sirius, he only craved him that much more. Every sensation felt somehow more intense. Perhaps it was that, for the first time since it had all begun, he allowed himself to really feel for the man in his arms. After the third or fourth round on the first day he’d had to call Gritchen to deliver some nourishment potions and glasses for water. 

Even though his body was a bit sore, and he hadn’t slept more than twelve hours in the last four days, he felt more alive than ever. Just when he thought he had absolutely nothing else to give, Sirius would smile over at him, or capture his lips in a kiss, and both he and his Alpha would be all too willing to satisfy their Omega’s needs. 

“ _Alpha,_ ” the Omega’s voice sent a shiver down the Alpha’s spine, and he couldn’t keep the predatory smile from spreading across his face. 

“Yes my sweet Omega?” He nipped at the other man’s bottom lip, staying a breath away from him. The quiet groan made the Alpha’s prick twitch against the Omega’s thigh. 

“ _You know what._ ” A whine left his lips as he pressed his hips forward so their cocks rubbed against one another in a positively sinful way. 

“Say it.” The command was laced with just the slightest hint of Alpha tone and he could tell by the quiver that ran through Sirius that he was well aware of it. 

“ _Fuck me. Please._ ” His words were breathless. With a smirk Remus trailed his hand gently down the other man’s side and kissed him hard. The other hand cupped his cheek. Both of the Omega’s arms looped around his neck, pressing their chests together. 

“As you wish.” Smiling, the long haired man tried to turn over, but was stopped short by Remus. Pushing him onto his back, the Alpha slid between his legs, letting his eyes roam over the breathing-taking sight below him. When he made his way back up to his stormy eyes he saw the question held in them. “I want to watch you. Every shudder, whimper, moan.” He began running one hand down Sirius’ chest as he spoke. “Every syllable you utter. The way you tremble when you cum moaning my name. I don’t want to miss a single second.” 

The sound that left the Omega spurred on all three of the voices in Remus’ head. Grabbing the other man’s right thigh, he pulled it up until his dripping hole was bared for him. Both his slick and the Alpha’s cum coated every inch of his arse like a stamp of his ownership over the stunning and lust filled creature beneath him. Before Sirius had the chance to beg again, he slid himself into his tight heat as slowly as he possibly could. He didn’t want to rush and his Alpha seemed content to allow him this. Sirius deserved to be savoured and cherished, and that’s exactly what he was going to do. 

“ _Yes._ ” The word was hissed between the other man’s teeth as his over sensitive arse finally had each glorious inch of his Alpha. His back arched ever so slightly, and Remus leaned forward, planting a gentle kiss on the calf held in his grasp. It was a painstakingly slow rhythm that he set, yet somehow nothing had ever felt so intense in his life. Closing his eyes, Sirius allowed himself to be completely at the other man’s mercy, moaning and whimpering softly. 

It wasn’t long at all before Remus felt that familiar sensation building low in his stomach. 

**Claim mate.** The wolf had been silent nearly the entire heat, so it’s low rumble shocked Remus for a split second. It hit him then, looking down at Sirius that he wasn’t simply fucking him as he’d asked. No, this was something much more. It was tender, passionate, affectionate. They weren’t even just having sex. The two men were making love, and the realization made his cock twitch as he gave a low moan. 

He is ours. You know it. He knows it. You both always have. What are you waiting for? He was surprised at how hard those words hit him. There was a time – could it have been mere days ago? – that he was willing to let some other Alpha have him. Listen to the blissful sounds he made. Hold him as he fell apart. It all seemed unthinkable now because the Alpha was right. They had been made for one another. It was them and it always would be.

Shifting his angle ever so slightly, Remus made sure his prick slid against his lover's prostate on each smooth stroke. 

“ _Remus. Alpha. Please_.” There was no doubt in his mind as to what he was asking of him. His head tilted to the left exposing his scent gland for what felt like the millionth time since they had been together. Somehow Remus had always resisted the temptation up until this point, and even now he had just the smallest moment of hesitation. 

Remus thought for a split second more before he made his decision and leaned forward. His tongue explored the familiar flesh, his hand wrapped around his Omega’s length and stroked in time with his thrusts. After making him wait so long, he was going to do this right. Feeling the subtle tightening of Sirius around him and his own orgasm seconds away Remus sunk his teeth into his scent gland. **Ours**. The taste of his blood mixed with his pheromones flooded his mouth and both men cried out as they came. It was the most intense sexual experience of Remus’ life, and, by the tremors wracking the Omega, he was certain that he felt the same. 

The wolf howled in triumph in the back of his mind, the Alpha purred in satisfaction, and Remus’ heart swelled in his chest. Tracing his tongue to seal the bite mark he groaned at how it felt to be knotted in him, knowing that he was finally his. 

“ _I love you._ ” Sirius’ words were so quiet the sandy haired man almost missed them. A gasp tore through his chest and he looked down at Sirius who was now sound asleep beneath him. 

The pounding of his heart in his chest was unbelievably loud to his lycanthropy enhanced ears. Carefully he turned them both and kept one of the Omega’s legs hitched over his hip, keeping them slotted together as he followed him in sleep. 

Remus awoke before Sirius did the following morning, they were still wrapped around each other in a tangle of limbs. He laid there and let himself look at Sirius, at his perfect mate. Sirius always slept so peacefully, as if he didn’t have a worry in the world and there wasn’t a war going on around them. **Fuck! I left my bag at the wolf camp.** The thought of the war had reminded him where he'd been before Sirius’ heat began and how he'd left in such a hurry to get to him that he hadn't gone back for his belongings. Remus groaned at the thought of leaving Sirius’ side, the comforting warmth his Omega gave him physically was mirrored in his intoxicating scent. Chocolate and clove surrounded him, but now there was a faint hint of cinnamon that hadn’t been there before. Remus wondered if he would also have a new scent to Sirius when he was able to mark Remus as well. 

“Siri, I have to go back to the wolves. I left all of my gear there.” Remus kissed the sleepy Omega’s forehead, giving him a tiny shake to wake him up. “I’ll have Gritchen bring you some tea and breakfast.” 

“No. My Remi.” His arms tightened around Remus. “I’m rich, buy new things.” The words were a sleepy mumble just this side of comprehensible. 

“I’ll be right back. I promise.” Remus kissed him again. “I bet I’ll be back before you even get out of bed.” With one final kiss, Remus extracted himself from what felt like a sea of arms and legs, chuckling lightly at how Sirius’ small form could wrap around him so completely while still taking up two thirds of the bed. The sleeping Omega gave a tired whine, but otherwise showed no signs of waking up any further. 

Remus looked around the room for his clothes but they were nowhere to be seen. After a moment of thought to retrace his steps he remembered how they hadn’t made it past the entryway and made his way down to the first floor to find his trousers. Smirking as he passed Walburga’s sleeping portrait, he quietly slipped on his trousers and went to the kitchen to call for Gritchen. 

“Master Remus, you called?” The small elf appeared and gave a small nod. Remus could tell that Gritchen’s tone with him was tense. A pang of guilt washed over him when he realized he’d left the elf to clean up his mess months ago.

“Yes Gritchen. In an hour or so can you wake Master Sirius with a cuppa and a full English, please?” Remus asked sheepishly. He knew he’d have to show the elf he truly cared for Sirius when he got back but now he needed to leave. He’d left his stuff unattended for too long already, and if he’d learned anything from his time with the pack, it was that unattended belongings tended to go missing. Everything was the pack’s so to speak. A concept that he was never okay with himself.

“For Master Sirius.” Gritchen nodded tersely and left without another word. 

Remus stared at the spot where the elf had stood for a moment. He couldn’t remember a time when he’d been told off in so few words. He was actually impressed and could admit that he deserved the elf’s disinterest in him. 

As if it were a reflex, Remus gave one last glance up towards Sirius’ room. “Right back, Siri. I’ll be right back.” Without further hesitation he disapperated on the spot and touched down about fifty meters from the edge of the wolf camp’s wards. 


	6. Chapter 6- In Quite a Similar Way

“Master Sirius,” a squeaky voice said from somewhere off in the room. 

It was far too early for him to be awake after a heat. Not that Sirius actually knew what time it was, but he was bloody well exhausted so it was too early no matter what the clock on the wall might have said. Perhaps he could just ignore it and let his Alpha cuddle him back to sleep. 

_His Alpha_. His arms flailed around the bed, only to come in contact with empty sheets. Sitting up straight he glanced around the bed, to find that it was in fact empty.

“Remi?!” He winced a bit at the whiney pitch his voice had taken on at the discovery he had once again been abandoned. Despite trying to reason with himself, the Omega’s hand went to the right side of his neck, sliding over the scent gland. “Bloody hell.” He winced at the sensation on tender skin, but let his fingers continue to gently explore. It was soon clear by the healing semi circles over his scent gland was, in fact, a bite mark, which meant that it wasn’t a dream. Remus had marked and claimed him as his mate. 

“Master Sirius,” the voice called again. In all his panic he’d forgotten how, exactly, he’d been woken up. Gritchen stood at the foot of the bed, a floating tray beside him, and an apologetic look on his face. Looking down quickly, Sirius gave a thankful sigh that his more personal bits were covered by the duvet. 

“Oh um, hello Gritchen.” His voice was a bit gritty from overuse in the last few days. 

“I’m sorry for waking you, but Master Remus said…” The rest of the elf’s sentence faded from recognition in Sirius’ mind. _Alpha_ the Omega sighed happily in his mind at the mention of the man they both loved. He had talked to Gritchen, so there had to be some simple reason for his absence. 

“Master Remus?” Sirius tried to sound calm and collected as he said the name. If the look on the small elf’s face was any indicator, he had failed miserably. “What exactly did he say?” Gritchen looked as if he was fighting a smile when he spoke. 

“As I said before, Master Remus said I should wake you in an hour for breakfast.” The tray floated closer to Sirius and his stomach grumbled in response to the smells wafting toward him. This had been the longest heat he’d ever had. Not surprising, considering it started a day early, but that meant he was twice as sore and hungry as usual. His mouth started to water at just the thought of the full English breakfast now nestled in his lap. Before he could stop himself he grabbed a single toast triangle off the plate and laid a rasher of bacon over it taking a huge bite. 

“Mmmf,” he nearly moaned at the taste of the food, blushing slightly when he remembered he was still being observed by Gritchen. “Um, Master Remus didn’t happen to say anything else did he? Maybe about when he’d head back?” Sirius bit his lip apprehensively, taking a sip of tea to try to not seem overeager. 

“I’m afraid not, Master.” His large ears drooped a bit at the statement. The Omega knew he didn’t hide his disappointment well, but the elf would have seen through him regardless. For now, he needed a moment alone. So much had changed and he hadn’t had any time to process it yet. 

“Thank you, Gritchen. I’ll be sure to bring the dishes back when I’m finished.” With a sympathetic smile, the elf nodded and left the room with a pop. 

Taking a bite of his eggs and beans, Sirius finally took in his surroundings. He jolted a bit at the posters plastered on the walls and all too familiar scorch marks. Somehow, in the whirlwind of a heat, he had forgotten where exactly he was.

Biting his lip, he couldn’t help but crack a small smile at the visual the shirtless men on the walls presented. At first it had been simply another way to get under his parents skin, but it soon became clear what exactly the posters were really for. Each of them bore an uncanny resemblance to Remus. None of them were as good as the real thing, but it had taken nearly four years for the Marauders to convince Remus to take a photo with them all. He had some ridiculous idea that he wasn’t attractive enough to be immortalized in such a way. Sirius had simply scoffed in response, mostly because telling your best friend that he was the most handsome bloke in the world tended to freak them out. But he had certainly thought it, and, until he’d gotten that photo, the posters were as close as he could get to seeing the boy he loved during those dreadful summers at home. 

Taking another bite of his breakfast, he tried to make some sense of how his life and their relationship would change now. They were mates. After three tortuous years Remus had finally given him his mark, claiming him for all to see. Despite his absence, Sirius’ heart felt lighter. There was nothing that could change it; he was Remus’ and that’s all he’d ever wanted. Perhaps Remus felt the same. Surely he had to feel something for Sirius if he was willing to tether himself to Sirius for the rest of his life. 

Except that he was gone again. The last time he’d been abandoned after his heat, he hadn’t seen or heard from Remus until the next one. After being marked, he wasn’t sure he could bear that separation again. 

_Alpha will come._ His Omega’s words drifted into his mind. _Alpha will take care of us. You will see._ They were the same words it had spoken before his heat came crashing over him. He hadn’t believed the voice then, but it had been right. Remus, their Alpha, had come. He’d taken care of them and finally marked him. 

So, despite the fact that he knew it could bite him in the arse, he allowed himself to believe the voice he heard in his head. Remus would come back soon. He would take care of them both, and it would be the start of something exciting and new. All he had to do was wait. 


	7. Chapter 7- The Beast You’ve Made of Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains Graphic violence, torture, rape, and death. If that's not something you think you can read scroll to the bottom for a major points recap.

##  **One Day Since He Promised to Return**

Remus looked around the cage he was in. While made from easily breakable wood, the wards cast around him made the wood pointless. Remus couldn’t use his magic, even if he’d been able to do anything other than basic spells wandlessly, due to the magic dampening cuffs around his wrists. In the week since he’d left the wolf camp unexpectedly, Fenrir and his pack of wild, undisciplined wolves had shown up and wreaked havoc on the weaker wolf pack. Alpha Walliams was in the cage next to him. He’d kept his word and hadn’t bowed down to Voldemort’s forces, but that didn’t matter at this point. 

Remus could feel worry that didn’t belong to him, knowing that it must be a product of the bond connecting him with Sirius. In this moment, he couldn’t be more thankful that Sirius hadn’t claimed him back. Looking at the pain on Alpha Walliams’ face as he was forced to watch Fenrir take advantage of his Omega, feeling his Omega’s pain as if it were his own, all Remus could think about was how Sirius was safe in London for now. Fenrir was known for his brutality and Remus had no doubts that, if it had been known that he had marked Sirius, Fenrir would have gone looking for him himself. For now Sirius was safe and that thought was what got Remus through the rest of the day. 

##  **Five Days Since He Promised to Return**

Black spots crept into the sides of his vision as the pain seared across his back. Fenrir's newest favourite pastime was maring Remus’ scarred skin even more than it already was. Dragging his claws from that very first bite mark up to his shoulder blade and back down again, making sure the cut was deep enough to last. He’d been at this for days already, some of his wounds had started to heal but Fenrir wasn’t satisfied with that so he started going back over them, reopening each wound one by one. Remus stayed silent throughout the whole ordeal, save for small gasps and whimpers. He wouldn’t scream. He wouldn’t give Fenrir that satisfaction or power over him. Remus tried to shut down his mind. He’d never really been able to clear his mind enough to put up Occlumency shields but he sure as hell tried to now. He’d noticed in the last five days that he hadn’t heard a word from his wolf or Alpha. Maybe they couldn’t handle the torture so they put up their own sheild to block it all out. All Remus knew was that he was lonely, his own pain and Sirius’ pain the only things to keep him company. 

A silver knife cut across Remus’ left side, along his ribs, drawing a burning hiss from Remus as the knife made contact with his skin. 

“You’ve grown up since the last time I saw you, haven’t you?” Fenrir growled as he deepened the cut with another drag of his knife. “You’re not a little cub any longer. You take the pain like a man now.” He brought the knife down to Remus’ bite mark, digging into the flesh surrounding the bite. “I remember the day I gave you this, how you cried and tried to fight me away fruitlessly.” He stabbed deeper as he continued to taunt Remus. “Even your father cried like a bitch after he saw what I did to you, didn’t he?” When Remus didn’t respond he grabbed a hold of Remus’ hair pulling his head back at the same time as he punched him in the wound he’d just made. “Answer me, cub! He cried didn’t he? His only son, a monster that he spent his entire life hating. Tell me, did he ever look at you with love in his eyes again or did you disgust him?” Fenrir sneered, pressing into the cuts he’d made, eliciting a groan from Remus who still refused to respond. When it became clear the younger wolf wasn’t going to answer, Fenrir brought his clawed hand down across his face, knocking him out in the process.

##  **Fourteen Days Since He Promised to Return**

Remus groaned as he tried to sit up, his entire body thrumming with pain at the slightest movement. Wailing screams from the next cage over had woken him up. Alpha Wallaims’ entire body was shaking as he curled into himself. Remus knew the fellow Alpha was going insane from the pain coming through his bond. His mate was being repeatedly raped by Fenrir. He didn’t even have to do it in front of them for the Alpha to know it was happening. He felt everything his mate felt, the fear, the pain, the begging to die so it would all be over, and there was nothing the older Alpha could do about it. 

“I know this is awful, but you have to stay strong. Your Omega can feel how distraught you are, it’s not helping her any. You can let it all out tonight when she is sleeping and doesn’t need you to be strong for her.” Remus tried to reach through the bars of the cage to lay his hand on the other’s shoulder. “The best thing you could do for her now is to be calm, push that feeling through the bond. She needs you.” The older Alpha looked up at him, his eyes glazed over with pain, but Remus could see a hint that his words were getting through to the man. He was still shaking, his breathing coming out in short, panting breaths. Remus could see the signs of the Alpha’s anxiety taking over him. “Alpha, hey. Focus on my voice, nothing else. Breathe for me.” The older wolf gave a small nod. “That’s it, in through your nose, out through your mouth. Keep it nice and steady.” He kept eye contact with the other man, ignoring his own pain. He tried to remember the techniques that Lily used with him or any of the other Marauders when one of them had a panic attack. Alpha Walliams was getting his breathing under control. His body still shook with tremors, but he was finally calming down. “That’s it, you’re doing great. Just keep breathing.” 

Having the other’s breathing under control, Remus needed to change tactics to get him to focus on something outside of his own head. “Now look at my face and only my face.” When Remus saw a small nod from the other he let out his breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding in. “Can you tell me what colour my eyes are?”

“Gr-green.” Walliams croaked out, his voice husky from the exertion of his screams. 

“Good, very good. What else can you tell me about my face?” Remus gave a soft smile, he knew the vulnerability the Alpha was feeling first hand. 

“Freckles, you have freckles across your nose, I bet your mate loves them.” Remus blushed slightly at the observation, but his gut felt like a knife twisted in him at the mention of Sirius. Remus could feel his anger coming through the bond, but he couldn’t focus on that detail quite yet.

“He does. Well, at least I hope he does. Anything else you can point out?” Remus knew this tactic was working, the other Alpha had calmed completely and he was focusing solely on Remus.

“Your nose, it’s slightly off centered, like someone broke it.” The Alpha gave Remus a small smile.

“Yeah my friends can be a little rough at times.” Remus smiled at the memory of him and his friends rough-housing by the Black Lake.

The other man gave a slight chuckle. Despite their situation, they were in this together and Remus would see to it that they got out of here. 

Remus tried to relax a bit, now that he’d successfully calmed the other man. He was tired, so incredibly tired. Between the physical pain by Fenrir’s knife and the mental pain he felt coming from his mate, Remus hadn’t slept for more than an hour a night in days. He could feel Sirius’ abandonment but didn’t quite know what it meant. The other man was fading from him a bit. The bond wasn’t as strong and prevalent as it had beem a week ago. The last strong emotion Remus had felt through the bond was anger, but now it was less. Unfortunately, that wasn’t a comfort to Remus. While he could understand Sirius’ anger, Remus couldn’t comprehend the nothingness. 

Thinking back to Sirius’ last heat, he remembered Sirius telling him he loved him, but was that just something he said in the throes of their love-making? It had to be. Sirius wouldn’t go from angry to indifferent if he loved Remus. He had to be regretting their bond. Everyone in his life so far had come to regret his existence, so it made sense that Sirius would come to this conclusion now. Remus just wished it had happened before they had become connected so intimately. He should have been stronger, should have been selfless for once in his life and found someone better for his friend. Someone who didn’t disgust him.

##  **Nineteen Days Since He Promised to Return**

Fenrir ripped open Remus’ shirt, dragging his claws down Remus’ chest as he did so, paying particular attention to his collarbone, drawing blood to the surface so it trickled down his chest. “Oh, I remember how your mother screamed when she found me with you,” Fenrir sneered at him, "The fun I would have had with her if your father hadn’t stepped in.” Fenrir backhanded him across the face, claw catching on his lip. Remus tasted copper before he could even register what had happened. 

“I could tell you all about it, little cub, but I think it would be better if I showed you, don't you think?” Fenrir dragged a single claw down Remus’ sternum, curling up at the end to pull the skin towards him. “Make sure you pay close attention, it would be a shame if I had to show you using your own body.” Fenrir pushed Remus to the ground and exited the cage, making sure to lock the door behind him. 

When Remus regained his bearings, the words uttered to him finally sank in. Fenrir had not only insinuated that he would have raped his mother, he had threatened Remus with the same fate. Unfortunately for both Remus and Alpha Walliams, Fenrir’s victim was the poor Omega he’d tortured every night for the last three weeks. 

“NOOOO!” The shriek from the cell next to his broke through the whole camp, attracting the attention of the rest of the wolf pack. 

“Walliams! Close your eyes. You don’t have to watch.” Remus wanted to save the older Alpha as much pain as he could. 

Remus finally got a good look at the ragged Omega. The Omega he'd seen three weeks ago, before he left the pack, had been strong and healthy. Her long sleek black hair that had once flowed down past her waist was now matted and chopped unevenly short. Her eyes, once bright and full of life, now held nothing in their murky depths. She had clearly only been fed the bare minimum required to keep her alive but weak, so she couldn’t fight back. The only thing Remus could be certain of is that she had suffered a fate much worse than anything he’d experienced since his capture. 

Fenrir dragged her over to a broken branch, slamming her body into the wood and shredding what remained of her pants as he removed them. With one hand he pushed her hips until the bark of the branch was digging into them, drawing small amounts of blood to the surface while he dug the claws of his other hand deep into her back. Red streaks dripped down so heavily, Remus couldn’t be sure where the cuts began and ended; her blood painted the wood beneath her. Leaning over her back, not seeming to care that her blood was soaking into his fur, Fenrir put his nose to her scent gland, inhaling deeply. Before anyone knew what was happening, he sunk his canines deep into her scent gland, ripping out the flesh. The Omega’s scream could be heard over the laughter coming from the onlooking pack, making them laugh harder and louder at her pain. 

“No, please, no more. Take me. Take me instead.” Remus wasn’t shocked to hear the Alpha next to him begging to save his mate. He would do the same if it meant saving Sirius from any amount of pain, he would take it all if he could. “I’m begging you, please. Don’t hurt her anymore. Just hurt me instead.”

“Oh, but why would I do that when I can hurt you both?” the feral wolf sneered, an amused gleam in his eye as he opened the flies to his trousers and positioned himself firmly behind the struggling Omega. He brought his hands down to press on her bloody back, holding her in place as he mercilessly thrust into her. If the woman hadn’t already been sobbing in pain, it was clear that she was now. Fenrir set a slow but brutal pace. Each time he would pull all the way out, only to slam himself back in. “Tell me, cub, do you think your mother would have been as wet for me as this bitch is?” 

Remus could see the blood trickling down the poor Omega’s thigh, he wanted nothing more than to look away but knew he couldn't, no matter the taunts Fenrir threw at him. Remus felt sick to his stomach. Knowing he could retch at any moment, he slowed his breathing and moved his eyes to the Omega’s face. He maintained eye contact with the Omega, wishing he could help take away her pain as well. Next to him, her Alpha was barely hanging on. From his peripheral, Remus could see the man was wide-eyed and muttering to himself. His entire body shook with fear, anger, and hurt as he tried to claw himself out of the cage. His fingernails were bloody from trying to dig his way out through the wooden bars surrounding them. 

Fenrir’s growl of pleasure brought Remus’ focus back to the horrid scene in front of him. Fenrir was licking at the Omega’s scarred back, lapping up her blood as he thrust into her so hard that her body scraped across the wood from the force of it. Fenrir roughly pulled her off the branch and down to the ground until she was on all fours in front of him. “I can’t wait for this one here to go into heat, I’m going to breed her like the bitch she is. We all know that’s all Omega’s are ever going to be good for.” Fenrir looked to him and smirked, his canines showing slightly on the edges. “Which is more than I could say for your mediocre mother.” 

Remus growled at the insult to his mother, his father was hateful and misguided but his mother had always loved him, even as a monster. 

“Don’t like me talking about mother dearest, do you, cub?” Fenrir laughed. His plan to break the younger wolf was slowly working. 

Remus had never, until this point, been glad of his mother’s passing. At least in death she was safe from Fenrir tracking her down, his threats and taunts were empty and meaningless in the end. Unfortunately, the same couldn’t be said for the Omega currently under him. Her arms trembled as she desperately tried to keep her face out of the dirt beneath her. 

Alpha Walliams was now throwing his entire weight on the door of his cage, using his entire body fruitlessly to escape. Even if he broke down the door, the wards placed around them would surely kill him. 

The Omega could no longer support her own weight, her body completely buckled. She crumbled to the ground, her face still pointed at Remus. He recognized that blank, lifeless stare. Fenrir reached around and clawed at her stomach, cutting her open completely. When no sound came from her, it confirmed what Remus already feared to be true. Fenrir just kept pounding into her lifeless body, chasing his own pleasure. Howling as he came inside her, his cum mixing with her blood as he pulled out and pushed her aside like a ragdoll. 

Seeing his dead mate on the forest floor gave the Alpha the last bit of strength he needed to bust through the cage holding him back. The wards sizzled his skin as he passed through them, intent to avenge his Omega. He charged towards Fenrir, growling as he closed the space between them. Fenrir merely chuckled, caught hold of the Alpha's head and twisted, snapping his neck as easily as if it were a twig. 

Remus looked at the scene in front of him, unblinking. He couldn’t believe what had just transpired. **Get out.** Remus shook his head in shock. He hadn’t heard a voice in his head but his own for three weeks, he had almost forgotten what his wolf’s voice sounded like. Little wolf, you need to get out of here before the full moon. If you want to live, you need to leave the next time they’re distracted. Remus knew his Alpha was correct, he only hoped that Fenrir would be satisfied with the pain he’d inflicted thus far, allowing him the opportunity to escape. **We will get back to our Mate. I promise.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you didn't read the chapter here's the recap. Remus was tortured by Fenrir who took over the camp. After over two weeks of being tormented and watching the Alpha and his Omega be murdered, he decides he has to escape and get back to Sirius.


	8. Chapter 8- When the Distance is too Wide

He’d been awake and waiting for four hours when he finally broke down and apparated back to his flat for a shower. Cleaning himself up alone only reminded him of the heat before this one and the anger he had felt then. Somehow, he couldn’t manifest any of that blinding rage this time. The fire that had blossomed in his chest before was instead a dull ache. Every swipe of his fingers over his neck reminded him that he wouldn’t be truly abandoned. He had an Alpha now. Being marked was the most intimate thing an Alpha and Omega could share, and if all of those unmated years had taught him anything, it was that Remus didn’t take the action lightly. 

Still, all that greeted him as he laid in his bed afterward was silence. He hadn’t bothered to get dressed, but instead stared blankly up at his ceiling. After days wrapped in the sounds, scent, tastes, and feelings that Remus provided, the emptiness of the room felt like a vacuum that would swallow him whole. Unlike his last heat, he didn’t even have a pillow or sheets imbued with his Alpha’s scent. He hadn’t thought to grab anything when he’d left Grimmauld, and, honestly, he hadn’t thought that he would need to. 

There was a nagging in the back of his mind that he couldn’t quite understand. It was something important, he was sure, but each time he tried to get at it, it slipped through his fingers like grains of sand. He sighed in frustration and grabbed his wand to cast a tempus charm. 

Eleven fifty-nine was displayed above his head in large red numbers. The pit in his stomach grew even heavier as the time ticked over to midnight. It had been over twelve hours since he’d woken up alone and still there was no sign of his mate. Any kind of message would have been enough to settle his nerves. Perhaps something was wrong? He wasn’t sure where Remus had gone, but surely he wouldn’t have just left him after what they’d done. They belonged to each other now, didn’t they? 

##  **Three Days After Remus Left**

Sirius’ eyes blurred as he stared at the report in front of him. He had been grateful his heat had ended on a Friday so he’d had the whole weekend to recover from the abnormally lengthy heat. Unfortunately, he’d spent the entire weekend alone, which only offered more time for him to wonder where Remus had gone, and, more importantly, why he hadn’t come back. It just didn’t make sense. 

What kind of person could share something so profound and just fall off the bloody face of the Earth? For Merlin’s sake, he’d kissed Sirius. He knew it was silly to concentrate on that in light of the mark that was completely healed over now, a distinctive scar over his scent gland. But it had been his first ever kiss, and the first time he had felt his lips finally pressed against Remus’. The feel of his warm tongue exploring his mouth, taking every bit of it for his own, was indescribable. It was raw, hungry, and the realest emotion he’d ever felt. 

It was dizzying how many firsts they'd had during this heat. It felt as if, finally, the other man understood, that Sirius wasn’t alone in these feelings. At last the man of his dreams had let him in, let him love him the way he had so desperately craved for all of these years. Except, that wasn’t entirely true. If it had been, he wouldn’t have spent the last few days alone. Would he? 

Sighing heavily, Sirius shook his head and focused back on the sheet of parchment in front of him, trying desperately to put disheveled light brown hair, green eyes, and the memory of pine trees, fresh rain, and bergamot out of his mind. 

##  **Seven Days After Remus Left**

A mother fucking week. Seven days with nothing to speak of from his supposed mate. Suddenly, the anger he hadn’t been able to muster all those days ago was bubbling to the surface. Was a bloody note too much to ask? Even a simple “Hey, I’m alive” would have been enough to satisfy him. 

He and James were in the training room throwing spells at the “dark wizard” dummies on the other end of the room. 

“Reducto!” Sirius yelled sending stuffing raining down from the other side of the room. 

“Bloody hell, Padfoot.” His friend looked over, raising one obsidian coloured eyebrow. “What was that about?” 

“Nothing. We’re meant to practice aren’t we?” he said through gritted teeth. 

“I don’t think we’re meant to turn the suspects into bits, mate.” He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. 

“Yes, because the Death Eaters will surely send stunners and petrification spells at us, Prongs. Makes perfect sense we should just bind them all and hope they can’t do a bit of wandless magic to get free is that it?” Sirius could tell his voice was getting louder, but he didn’t seem to be able to rein it in. The anger and helplessness that he’d kept bottled up surged to the surface. “Let’s just hope that whatever dark creatures You-Know-Who has recruited will be taken down with a good “Stupefy”.” 

“That’s not what I meant, Pads. I was just having a laugh,” James said, seeming confused and a little wounded by his friend’s reaction. 

“Yeah, I know. I’m gonna head home. See you on Monday, Prongs.” 

Before the other man could respond Sirius hurried out of the training arena and toward the ground floor of the Ministry. Careful to steadfastly avoid acknowledging anyone he crossed paths with on the way, Sirius arrived at the fireplaces in record time. He was in no state to have a conversation with anyone at the moment and simply wanted to go home and forget about the man he was missing and what his absence might mean for their future.

##  **Eighteen Days After Remus Left**

His anger had dissipated about six days ago. All he felt now was an emptiness where his heart used to be. Perhaps worse was the way he’d decided to cope with it all: eating a massive amount of food until he passed out. Not that the latter was difficult. He was exhausted from the moment he woke up until he fell back asleep again. 

True, auror training was time consuming and physically demanding, but he was a physically fit young man. Playing Quidditch for six years did that for a bloke, especially when you chased bludgers around the field and swung a bat to fling them at others. He couldn’t remember a time in his life that he’d been so knackered. Even cramming for his N.E.W.T.s he’d had more energy, and he’d stayed awake for seventy-hours straight then, with the help of wide-eye potions and barrels of highly caffeinated tea. 

Gritchen had to force him to shower each night when he returned home sweaty. More than once, he had simply sat on the tiled floor and fallen asleep under the warm spray. The disapproving glare he got from his elf when he’d come to call him down for dinner and find him passed out had stopped affecting him at all. 

Yesterday he’d come home to the smell of the raw pork chops Gritchen had intended to prepare for their tea and rushed for the loo, emptying the entirety of his stomach contents into it. He attributed it to the kabab he’d had for lunch from the muggle shop near the ministry. Perhaps the meat was off. Not that it was exactly what you’d call meat anyhow. 

Ignoring the house-elf’s worried glance, he’d grabbed the package of custard creams from the pantry and a bag of scampi crisps. It was hardly a nutritious tea, but he’d been wanting almost nothing else to eat the last few days. Since he was an adult, he’d decided he could eat what he bloody well liked. To hell with monitoring calorie intake. It wasn’t as if there was anyone around who gave a flying fuck what he looked like. He certainly didn’t. 

The Omega hadn’t spoken to him in over a week, but he could feel a surge of pain each time he thought of their Alpha. Which, unfortunately, was quite often. Since Remus had abandoned them, he’d worn only collared shirts when he was near anyone else. Without his mate around, he hated the thought of someone seeing the mark. They’d want to know the details or congratulate him on finally being claimed, both things he had no desire to experience at the moment. 

This should have been a happy moment. Remus should have been at his side, wanting to tell their friends with a smile spread across his face as well. Instead he was alone and wondering, for what had to be the millionth time, what had gone wrong. 

##  **Twenty-Two Days After Remus Left**

Sirius was well and truly numb. Around him the world continued to turn, but he had no real part in it. He went to work, doing just enough to not get fired, ate his weight in whatever food he could find that’s smell didn’t make him want to puke, and slept the day away. 

Most people had learned to leave him alone after the second week his Alpha had been away. When he hadn’t been in a blaze of fury, he was swallowed whole by a sea of despair. James had repeatedly tried to reach out, but each attempt was in vain. Nothing felt like it was worth it any longer.

He’d finally figured out why Remus had left. There was only one explanation really. It was him. He wasn’t a good enough Omega for Remus and, instead of telling him to his face that the marking had all been a big mistake, the love of his life had simply walked away. After all, Sirius hadn’t marked him in return. It was a one way bond. Remus could move on and find someone new, an Omega he actually wanted to be with. His continued absences emphasised that Sirius wasn’t that Omega.   
Unlike before, his Omega hadn’t fought back. Even the delusionally optimistic voice in his head knew it was true. At least when he’d been unmarked he could be sure Remus would come back. They were friends and it was a favor to him. Clearly he had just gotten carried away in the moment. Now his regret for it all had left the Omega alone and hopeless. 

Nothing brought him joy or made him smile. His binge eating meant that he had managed to gain three pounds in just over three weeks. It was simply another thing to add to the long list of reasons he wasn’t worthy of Remus. 

Tears would roll down his face as he laid on his bed, but it felt like an involuntary reflex. Clearly his body felt the need to cry, but the emotions that might have accompanied the action were nowhere to be found. Without his mate he would waste away, slowly going mad from spending his heats alone. At least he’d had a taste of true happiness. Even if it was for a brief moment of his life, he had felt what it might have been like to be loved. 


	9. Chapter 9- Find my Way Home Tonight

The full moon would rise in the next six hours, Remus used the remaining sunlight to take stock of his surroundings. He knew how to get out of the cage, he knew how to escape the clearing, but he didn’t know yet how far he would have to run to get past the anti-apparition wards erected around the camp. He attempted to watch the other wizards in the pack coming and going from the camp but they would disappear from sight without apparating away. **I think I’ll need to go at least 100 meters before I can use magic to leave.**

Those bracelets need to come off before we leave this cage. The Alpha reminded him, escaping was useless if he couldn’t get the dampeners off before he made a run for it. How are you going to get your wand? His Alpha had been pointing out the small-but-important details that Remus was struggling to remember in his anxious state. 

**Remove bracelets, escape the cage, hope the wards don’t kill me, get my wand and run. What could possibly go wrong?** Remus sighed. There was no need to be getting worked up. This was his one and only chance of escape. It was either die in this cage tonight or die trying to leave. All he had to do now was wait. 

Remus looked into the cage next to his, at the splintered wood littering the ground. He looked around to see that none of the wolf pack was focused in his direction. Using this brief window, he reached through the bars of the cage and grabbed a small sliver of the wood. He spent the next thirty minutes filing the tip of the splinter into a smooth point small enough to fit into the locked clasp of the bracelets on his wrist. The sun was finally starting to set and the pack was eating their dinner before transforming. All Remus had to do now was wait for them to bring him his small ration of bread before he could get to work on the rest of his plan. **Hungry. Need meat not bread.** The wolf grumbled. Remus knew this transformation would be harder than in the past due to his lack of nourishment the last three weeks. He could only hope that he would be strong enough to handle the recovery tomorrow.

His ration of bread was smaller than usual, but that didn’t matter to Remus now. He grabbed the small splinter that he had filed down and stuck the pointed end into the lock of his left bracelet. He applied tension to the bottom portion of the lock, angling the wood to the right and pushing up until he heard the small click of the lock disengaging. He gave himself a moment to feel proud of his accomplishment before doing the same to the bracelet on his right wrist. 

Free of the dampeners, Remus could feel his magic flowing beneath his skin, begging to be let free and used. It was almost completely dark and Remus would have to move fast if he was going to make it in time. The wolf pack was starting to move out of the clearing, so, not only did he have to be quick, he would also have to be painfully silent. With the full moon so close, the wolves’ hearing would be heightened and they would be aware of the slightest sounds that he made. 

Remus didn’t know much wandless magic, but he wondered if he could focus what felt almost like an electrical current running through him on a single hinge of his cage door. It would save him a lot of strength trying to bust it down. Reaching up to the top hinge of the door, Remus closed his eyes and focused on the hinge beneath his hand. His hand sparked at it, burning the wood slightly. Happy with the results Remus kneeled to do the same to the bottom hinge. With both hinges weakened, Remus was able to kick the bottom one until it broke off, giving him a chance to squeeze through the opening he had created. Holding his breath, he passed through the gap and stepped through the wards. They gave a slight burn to his skin but it was nothing Remus couldn’t handle. He quickly made his way over to where his wand was being held with all the others. Remus was honestly surprised Fenrir hadn't snapped it upon sight. Searching through the wands, he found his cypress one fairly easily. With a quick glance around, Remus crossed through the clearing, making it to the edge of the trees before he took off in a run. 

He kept running until he could no longer see the camp, looking over his shoulder to make sure he hadn’t been seen or followed. The next thing Remus knew he was falling forward, his face coming into contact with a knot in a raised tree root. 

“For Godric’s fucking sake, I spent three weeks getting tortured and escape just to fall over a goddamn root. Fuck that hurt.” Remus cursed as he cast a bombarda at the tree root. He heard a small chuckle from somewhere in the dark around him. His heart pounding in his ears as he looked around for whoever was hiding. 

“How many times do we have to tell you, Moons? You’re a werewolf not a swearwolf.” James' head appeared floating in mid air. “Merlin, it’s good to see you, Moony, but we need to get you out of here.” 

Remus stared at his best mate, flabbergasted, he couldn’t quite believe he was actually seeing James standing right in front of him. “What are you doing in the middle of the forest Prongs?” 

“I was on my way to rescue you, obviously,” the messy haired man replied, a small smile playing at his mouth. “Though it appears my assistance wasn’t required.” 

“A rescue would have been nice about three weeks ago,” Remus snapped at him. He shook his head, trying to dissipate his frustration. He knew he wasn’t being fair to the other man. As far as he knew, Dumbledore was the only one who knew where he was, the old man claiming it was for his safety that his location didn’t get out. 

“Three weeks? I just found out today you were even missing, much less taken prisoner. We all thought it was the normal ‘avoid everyone after the heat’ shit that you always do.” James looked genuinely concerned at Remus. “Moony, we really need to get you out of here, I don’t think it would be safe for either of us to still be here when the moon fully rises.” James extended his hand towards Remus, pulling him to his feet. Once the wolf was steady, James apparated them both out of the woods. 

The pair touched down in the spacious back lawn of Potter Manor. Remus hadn’t been here since school when James’ parents had passed away, but the estate still looked as lovely as ever. Remus wanted nothing more than to go to Sirius. He missed his Omega more than he would admit out loud to anyone, but knew for Sirius’ safety it was too late to go to him. He took two last steadying breaths before the wolf took over. 

He was running the moment his front paws hit the ground. **Mate. Find mate.** The wolf took off running towards the edge of the lawn, he was stopped abruptly by an invisible wall. The wolf shook his head in shock before turning around and running in the opposite direction. **Need to find mate.** The wolf just kept running, ignoring the deer prancing after him. 

The wolf looked around. He couldn’t smell his mate but he knew he had to be somewhere. He had to get to him. The wolf let out a high-pitched howl that sounded more like a whine. **Mate. Mate. Mate.** The wolf cried for his mate, his mate who he couldn’t find. He moved closer to the house, sniffing along the edge. His mate’s scent was stronger there. He just needed to find a way into the building. 

He spent the rest of the full moon pacing back and forth along the edge of the house, sniffing and whining each time he lost his mate’s scent. When he could no longer take not finding him, he went to where the scent was strongest and howled at the door. Why wasn’t his mate coming to him? Surely his mate could hear him calling. That's where he sat for the last remaining hours until sunrise, baying at the moon, for his love who wouldn’t come. 

Remus vaguely remembered James carrying him through the house, briefly thinking back fondly of all of his transformations during school when his friends would carry him back to Gryffindor Tower, before his head hit the pillow and sleep took over. 

A few hours later, he woke to a messy-haired, hazel-eyed man standing above him. “Hey Moons, feel up to getting cleaned up? I have some potions for you.” Remus felt his head was in a fog, he looked at the other man quizzically. “Don’t worry, Moons. Lils brewed them not me.” 

Remus sat up in the bed, nodding his head. “Which potions are they, Prongsy? Please tell me one of them is a cuppa.” He added a small smile at the end. He hadn’t had a single bit of caffeine in a month and would do just about anything to have some in his hands currently.

“I have a Nourishment Potion and a Blood Replenishing one for you. If you take both of these then we'll see about that cuppa with some breakfast, okay?” James passed him the two potions, raising his eyebrow, daring Remus to resist.

“Fine, _mum_ , hand them over.” Remus begrudgingly took the potions in question, downing them as quickly as he could.

“Very good, let's get you cleaned up and then we’re going to talk.” James gave him a pointed look that told Remus there was no avoiding this particular conversation. James moved away to gather the supplies needed to heal some of the worst of Remus’ wounds. Coming back with some healing salve and bandages, James motioned for Remus to turn over to his stomach, exposing his back to James. 

“So Moony, talk. Who did this to you? Albus was less than forthcoming with information.” James hid his gasp when Remus removed his shirt, but Remus still heard a small intake of his breath. Remus grimaced at the thought of his friend wasting any pity on him. 

“Fenrir.” Remus dropped down to bare bus weight on his forearms. “He wasn’t there when I left the camp but, by the time I came back, he’d taken over.” 

“I’m so sorry, Moons. Want to tell me about the rest?” James applied the salve to the wound around the bite mark Remus received as a child. Remus hissed at the contact. 

“For three weeks, he tortured me, Prongs. Every single day he would come into my cage and cut me with his claws or that knife of his.” Remus took a deep breath before continuing. “The worst part was watching him rape the pack Alpha’s Omega, his bonded mate. All I could see, every time I looked at her, was Sirius. I was so happy that no one knew that Sirius was my mate, my Omega.”

“Wait, your mate?” James asked. “Moony, did you finally mark Padfoot?” Eyebrow raised, smirk planted firmly on his face.

Remus sighed before responding. “Yeah, Prongs. He’s my mate. It was his most recent heat, I returned to the wolf camp before he could claim me back, but I am very much looking forward to being with him for real this time.” Remus felt James lift his hand from his back. “Now if you’re done, I’d like to go see him. Okay?” No sooner than he had told James, the bond within Remus flared to life. The numbness gone, replaced with panic. “Somethings wrong, Prongsy. I need to get to Sirius now!” Remus jumped up from the bed, grabbing his shirt in the process.

“Remus, calm down. You need to heal first, you can’t show up looking like this.” James put his hand on Remus' arm, stopping him from getting dressed.

“No, James. I have to go.” Remus shrugged off James’ arm, apparating on the spot to Sirius’ flat. He landed in the familiar living room with a thud.

Looking for his mate he called out. “Siri!”


	10. Chapter 10-  I'm Crashing Through

“Sirius Orion Black! Get your arse in here right now!” 

The Omega shocked awake at the sound of a woman’s voice. It was coming from his living room, which was exceedingly odd. Especially considering it was barely past sunrise by the view from his window. 

“Don’t make me come in there! I’ve seen you stark bollocks naked enough times that I’m completely desensitized, I can assure you!” The threatening voice was unmistakable now that he was coherent enough to pay attention. It was quite unfortunate really, because he knew that the woman would do exactly as she threatened if he didn’t get a move on. 

“Go away you pregnant banshee!” Sirius tried. There was an incredibly slim chance it would actually work, but moving from this bed sounded like a horrid idea at the moment. Or at any moment, really, but this one would do. 

“You have precisely twenty seconds before I bust down your bedroom door and drag you into this living room by your curly black hair!” Her tone was calm, which terrified him into swinging his legs over the end of his bed and walking to his wardrobe. “Eighteen… seventeen… sixteen…” Panic began to set in when he realized that Gritchen had taken all of his dirty clothing from the room. Since he’d prevented the little elf from doing so for over two weeks, that meant he had next to nothing left to wear. “Ten… nine… eight…” Her voice seemed to be steadily increasing in volume, which could only mean one thing. The bloody harpy was getting closer. Running to his dresser he finally found a pair of boxers and some of his old flannel pajama bottoms. “Four… three… two…” 

Flinging the door open Sirius found himself face to face with none other than Lily Potter. 

“You’ve become much more of a menace since marrying Prongs you know,” he grumbled at the smiling woman before him.

“I’ll take that as a compliment coming from a Marauder himself.” She chuckled, turning to make her way back toward the living room. 

“Yes, well it’s been quite a while since I’ve done anything befitting of one.” The words were a tired mumble as they reached the living room. Lily carefully made her way to the loveseat and sat down slow, hand on her stomach. She had to have doubled in size since Sirius had last seen her.   
He hadn’t been at all surprised when James and Lily had told him they were expecting. They’d been mates since Lily’s first heat, and everyone knew that it wouldn’t be long before there were little Potters running around and getting into trouble, although Sirius was a bit surprised they’d decided the middle of the war was the time to do it. James had admitted they hadn’t exactly chosen to get pregnant, more left it up to fate. It had taken three heats without contraceptive potions before fate had decided it was time for Lily to conceive and, to their credit, both Lily and James seemed to be excited about the newest edition to their family. 

“I’m sure that’s not true. You’re always managing to get yourself into some kind of trouble or another,” she laughed. Sirius gave a spiteful chuckle at her words. He’d gotten into trouble alright. 

By reflex his hand went toward his scent gland, tracing the bite mark. The feeling of his fingers on the crescent indentation had been the only thing he had really felt in days. It was like an anchor and a life preserver all at once. Being reminded of its existence weighed him down, but even the slightest sensation reminded him that he was still alive. That there was something for him to hold on to for now. 

“Merlin! Is that what I think it is?” Lily gasped, pulling Sirius out of his thoughts and causing his hand to cover the scar. He’d been in such a hurry to keep the woman from walking into his room that he’d forgotten to put a shirt on. It was true she’d seen him naked more times than was likely decent, and he hadn’t been thinking about the mark then. In fact, it was the first real interaction he’d had since his row with James in the training room. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He looked away from the ginger woman’s shrewd gaze. 

“Don’t make me waddle over there and force you to show me, Sirius Black. I am far too pregnant to play tiptoe around the subject with you.” Chancing a look back at his friend, a large sigh left his chest. He let his hand slowly fall as his eyes found the carpet once again. 

“I knew it!” Lily squealed, clapping happily. “I’m going to have James’ arse for keeping this from me.” 

“Prongs doesn’t know.” Suddenly the numbness that Sirius had become accustomed to vanished, and it was as if the grief he’d been burying finally broke free. 

“Well, why ever not?” The woman seemed genuinely surprised. “It was Remus, right? We’ve only been waiting ages for you two to get your heads out of your arses and make it official.” 

Giving a bitter laugh Sirius shook his head. "Except that Moony fucked off to Godric knows where right after he did it, and bloody well hasn’t said a thing to me since.” A growl of frustration left his chest as he felt himself start to cry. 

“He what?” He could hardly see the baffled woman’s face through the tears filling his eyes. “But that doesn’t make sense. Remus cares about you. Everyone knows that. Why would he…” 

“Clearly he doesn’t care as much as you and everyone else thinks then, does he?” The words were spat at the woman as he left the room headed for the kitchen. He’d been so tired when he got home he hadn’t eaten and, despite the turmoil currently taking place inside his head, he was starving. 

There were two pots on the stove bubbling so, grabbing a towel, he pulled the lid off the first. The smell of some sort of fish stew filled the room the second the lid was removed. He hurriedly slammed it back down and ran to the sink retching into it. 

“Sirius I didn’t… what is that awful smell?” Lily had rounded the corner and slapped her hand over her nose at the scent of fish still fresh in the air. Grabbing her wand she quickly cast an air freshening charm. Cautiously she removed her hand and took a deep breath. “Much better.” 

A few more heaves later, Sirius was turning on the water to wash out the taste of vomit in his mouth. Making sure the rest of it went down the drain, he wiped his mouth with the nearby dishtowel. Turning around, he faced Lily again. She had a thoughtful frown on her face, her eyebrows furrowed. 

“What?” He glanced down at his pants wondering if he had gotten sick on himself and simply hadn’t noticed. When he looked down however he found himself perfectly clean. Lily hadn’t said anything and when he looked up she still had the same expression on her face. “What is it?” 

“I just. Well, James has told me how you’ve been acting since you returned to work after this last heat.” Sirius suddenly found himself incredibly pissed off at the other man. Where did he get off talking behind his back?

“What the fu…”

“He was just worried and asking for help,” she cut him off. “He’d noticed how tired you had been, and when you started eating even more than usual he wasn’t sure what to think.” 

“Oh, so my bloody diet is hot gossip is it? Everyone's having a right laugh that pathetic, pining Sirius Black is putting on the pounds now? Fucking splendid!” His face was flushed as he let loose his anger. After so long without feeling sensitivity to anything, all of the emotions flashing through him seemed dizzying. 

“That’s not how it went at all. I get that you’re upset right now, but we’re not who you should be taking it out on!” Lily snapped back, stepping closer toward him and puffing her chest out best she could with her pregnant stomach. 

“Who should I take it out on then? Pray tell me, who the fuck I’m supposed to yell at when I’m the reason he left?” Gasping breaths were leaving his lips and his hands buried themselves in his hair. “I’m the broken Omega who has spent his entire life chasing an Alpha who didn’t love me! Who fucking fell in love with the man and begged him every bloody heat to claim me even though I was never good enough!” He was tugging on his hair now, just barely keeping himself from crying like a teenage girl. 

“That’s not true at all. You’re an amazing person, and I don’t know where in Merlin’s name Remus is, but I know it’s not your fault.” Walking closer, she gently pulled his hands from his hair and gave a small smile. 

When she wrapped her arms around him, he began to sob in earnest. Hugging her as hard as he dared in her current state, he allowed himself to break down in front of the other Omega. Rubbing slow circles on his back, she murmured soft and comforting words. He’d never had a real mother except for Misses Potter, but he thought this is what it must feel like to have one. Their child would be exceptionally lucky to have someone like Lily to raise them.

“You know, with the mood swings, fatigue, and puking at the smell of fish I’d think you were the pregnant one.” Lily laughed when he finally pulled back. 

“Yeah, right. Me…” His eyes were the size of saucers as he tried to back track to twenty-three days ago. 

“I was kidding,” she laughed, but looked hesitant as she took in the frantic expression on the man’s face. “You take contraceptive potions, right?” 

“Of course, I do. Getting up the duff isn’t exactly a smart decision when I wasn’t even mated to the man I was screwing, is it? I’m not careless.” Sirius responded. 

“But?” Clearly she’d noticed the moment of uncertainty flash across his face. 

“Well, my heat came on a day early. I barely had my wits about me to have Gritchen get Prongs.” The pulse in his throat was a hammering rhythm as he spoke. “I… I don’t remember much once he got to the house. But I always have my contraceptive and nourishment potions beside the bed.” He reasoned. Was the room spinning? It certainly felt that way. 

“Well then I’m sure Remus just gave it to you when he got here. No problem.” He couldn’t repress a slight wince at her words. 

“But I wasn’t here. It all happened so fast and Prongs was worried about some other Alpha catching on to my scent and going into rut. So he had Gritchen take me to Grimmauld until Remus could get there.” Suddenly he felt as if the air had been sucked from the room. 

“Okay, but he would have come here with James. They’re both smart. Surely one of them would have remembered, right?” 

“I don’t know. Godric, help me. Lily I have no idea. We were already mid fuck before I surfaced again.” His voice had raised several octaves since the conversation had started. 

“This is an easy fix okay. Let’s just check your room. If the vial is empty you have nothing to worry around.” Without a word he nodded and allowed the red-head to grab his hand and lead the way to his bedroom. “Where would it be, Sirius?” He pointed to his bedside table and she dropped his hand. 

Biting his lip hard he watched her walk toward the wooden furniture and pull the drawer out. The tinkling of glass filled the space as she moved the contents around. When her spine stiffened Sirius knew what she’d found. Turning she held up the full vial. The liquid inside was the signature pale purple that could only be a contraceptive potion. 

Sirius’ knees buckled, as the reality of it all shook him like a slap across the face. Grabbing for the bed behind him, he sat down hard. Lily set the potion down and rushed as fast as she could to his side. 

“Look it doesn’t necessarily mean anything. It took James and I three heats remember? There’s a really good chance you’re totally fine and all of your symptoms are down to stress.” Her soothing tone did little to calm the battering his heart was giving his chest. “I know the spell to check for pregnancy. It seemed important to learn when we decided to start trying. All I have to do to clear this all up is cast it quick.” 

All he could manage was a nod. Taking that as a sign of permission, Lily pulled her wand out of her robe pocket and waved it over his stomach. The air around Sirius shimmered and a faint green light shone around him. 

“Fuck.” Although she’d said the word barely above a whisper it seemed to echo in the far too silent room. Sirius didn’t need to ask what a positive result looked like. Her single syllable said a thousand words at once. 

The dizziness from before came back tenfold as he began to hyperventilate. Remus wouldn’t even contact him after marking him. How the fuck was he supposed to tell him he was carrying his child. Merlin, this couldn’t be happening. This was the biggest cosmic joke of the century. 

“It’s okay. Just breathe.” The woman’s words seemed far off as his head felt impossibly light. Black spots began dancing around his vision like purebloods at once of his family’s hideous balls. His hearing started to fade as his vision began going entirely dark.  _ Whack. _ Lily’s hand came down hard on his cheek, forcing him to take a deep breath. 

“What the fuck?!” The hot sting of her handprint was throbbing. 

“I’m sorry, but passing out from oxygen deprivation is definitely not good for a baby, and you weren’t responding. I had to do something and desperate times.” Her eyes were certainly apologetic, but it didn’t do much to dull the ache of his abused cheek. Rubbing his cheek, he nodded a bit. 

“Oh, Godric. A baby.” Out of nowhere he found himself laughing. It started out as soft chuckles, which turned into giggles, and crescendoed into hysterical full-bellied guffaws. “A fucking baby.” Tears were forming in his eyes now. His companion eyed him as if he was going mad. Quite frankly, he wasn’t so sure that he wasn’t. “I’m… I’m...” The laughter made it near impossible for him to talk. “Merlin’s sake, I’m pregnant. With Remus Lupin’s baby.” His eyes were positively manic and he could feel his body shaking like a boggart locked in a cabinet. 

Lily reached toward him just as a loud crack sounded from down the hall. 

“Siri? Are you here?” He instantly knew who exactly had apparated into his apartment. Smell alone would have been enough for Sirius.“Si…” The words died in his throat as his mate burst into the room, completely out of breath. 

Remus’ body was bruised and battered. He had a black eye that looked as if it were no more than a day old, and his bare chest had several barely healed cuts. Despite it all, all he could do was laugh even harder. The moment he’d dreamt of for just over three weeks was finally here, but he was far too gone to process it. Instead of a reply he laughed even harder, bending in half and clutching his stomach. 

“Lily? What’s wrong with him?” His eyes were shining with concern for the Omega doubled over on the bed. 

“I really don’t think I should be here for this…” 

“No. No, it’s okay, Lily.” Sirius said between gasping breaths. “Afterall, you’re the first to know.” 

“Know what?” He looked between the two Omegas, clearly confused at the odd situation. 

“Honestly. This isn’t…” She stood and tried to make her way to the door. Before she could exit Sirius spoke again. 

“Great news, Remi. We’re having a baby.” His voice was impossibly high pitched as he wiped the tears from his eyes. 

“Wait, what?” The brown haired man stumbled back a few steps as if the words had hit him physically in the chest. 

“Congratulations! We’re going to be Daddies.” Sirius flopped back on the bed, his laughter finally trailing off in favor of stunned silence. 


	11. Chapter 11- Hold On, Stay on My Side

“A baby? We’re having a baby?” Remus stared out at the floor in front of him. It had been five minutes since he ran into Sirius’ flat. “How is it possible that we’re having a baby?”

“Well you see _Remus_ , when two men _love_ each other…” He let the words hang in the air. “Well, when an Omega loves an Alpha…” 

“You think I don’t love you? Why would I put _my_ mark on you if I didn’t love you?” Remus bit back. “I’m sorry if I’m just a little bit shocked. After spending three weeks captured by the monster that made me who I am, I come back to find out that we’re having a baby.”

“What in Merlin's name are you talking about? Why on earth would I think you loved me?! You leave at the end of my heat out of nowhere, _again_ might I add, after fucking marking me, without saying a word to me! Instead you send my bloody house-elf to do your dirty work!” Sirius was fuming on the bed staring down at him wide eyed.

“Sirius. We had an entire conversation about me leaving that morning. I woke you up, told you I was going to get my things.” He gave slight pause, looking at Sirius, seeing no recognition of their conversation on his face. ”You even joked about being rich and buying me new things if I stayed. I called Gritchen to insure that you ate but I had every intention of returning before you finished breakfast.”

“No, but… But he said you didn’t say anything else. I’ve spent weeks alone, thinking that you thought this was all a mistake.” He buried his head in his hands. “I’m such a fucking idiot. I didn’t even notice you were missing. What kind of mate am I? Fucking hell I couldn’t even remember to take my potion and now I’m carrying an actual child.” 

Remus moved closer to his mate sitting on the bed, wrapping his arms around him. Lily had left at some point during their argument. He immediately noticed the new cinnamon scent again. Their baby smelled like cinnamon. A scent that was equally spicy and sweet underlying Sirius’ scent of chocolate and clove. Remus remembered the first time those scents flooded his senses. 

Remus sat in the empty compartment, he couldn’t believe that he of all people was allowed to go to Hogwarts. He’d never been around other people alone, his mother usually accompanied him everywhere. It had been two years since he was bitten by Fenrir Greyback and almost six months since he came into his Alpha inheritance six years early. Remus pulled out his second-hand book, hoping to pass the train ride in comfortable silence. 

Those hopes were dashed before the train pulled away from King's Cross Station when two of the loudest people Remus ever had the pleasure of meeting burst into the quiet compartment. 

“Er, hi. I’m James Potter.” A boy with messy raven-coloured hair and circular-framed glasses stepped forward and extended a hand to Remus. 

“Remus Lupin.” He reluctantly shook the hand offered in front of him. The only person who had given him any physical touch in the last two years was his mother, and even she did so tentatively. 

“I’m Sirius Black.” The long haired boy was a ball of energy waiting to be released. As he stepped into Remus’ space, Remus smelled the sweetest scent he’d ever smelled before. The combination of chocolate and cloves was rolling off the shorter boy. Instead of shaking hands as the other boy had done, he offered a friendly smirk.

“So are you guys friends?” Remus didn’t have friends of his own but he’d seen plenty of his mother’s Muggle movies to know that one day he would have someone to call his friend. 

“We actually just met on the train when Sirius here tried to barrell past me in the corridor,” the one who called himself James offered up. “Do you mind if we sit with you? Everywhere else is full.”

Remus gave a small smile. “I don’t mind.” He gestured his arm out to the seats across from him. “Do either of you know anything about Hogwarts?” Remus had only gotten his school textbooks the day before, so he hadn’t yet had the chance to read Hogwarts: A History. 

“All my family would say is that there's some sort of test to tell you what House you will be sorted into. My whole family was in Slytherin, but I’m going to be a Gryffindor.” Sirius said confidently. “My parents will go bloody mental, but that’s just a bonus really,” he laughed. 

“My whole family has been in Gryffindor, I would probably be disowned if I wasn’t sorted there too,” James joked, but neither of the others knew him or his family to really understand what was so funny. 

Omega. The chocolate one is an Omega. Remus still wasn’t used to the voice of the Alpha yet, he’d tried to read up as much as he could about inheritances but his father only owned one book. The only information he knew was that Omegas were made to be the mates of Alpha’s. The other fact Remus knew was that he would never be good enough to be anyone’s mate.

Remus snapped back to the present. It had been quite a long time since he’d thought about the day he met James and Sirius. His life genuinely had not been the same since those two came bouncing, literally, into his life. Remus held Sirius closer to him, tightening his grasp as more memories from school took over his senses. 

“Oi! Padfoot!” Remus shook him on the shoulder. “It’s time to get up, you’re going to be late for breakfast.” In the four years since Remus Lupin had known Sirius Black, nothing about their morning routine had changed. Every morning Remus would wake up, shower, dress and pack both of their school bags for the day before Sirius would even roll over in an attempt to silence his tempus alarm. And every morning, Remus would still have to wake him up in time for breakfast. 

Remus secretly loved this part of the routine, seeing Sirius so unguarded and stress free in his sleep. Remus also hated this part of the routine; he knew he shouldn’t have, but he couldn’t help falling for the other boy. He gave a sad smile before turning away to double check their bags. He would never be good enough for Sirius. If his family even knew they were friends, his parents would have forbidden Sirius from being in Remus’ presence. Luckily they weren’t aware of Remus’ furry little problem, as his friends liked to call it, but being a half-blood alone would have been enough for them to hate him. 

Sirius tumbled out of bed, his trademark smirk planted on his face as he grabbed his school robes, dressing for the day. Sauntering over to Remus, he took his bag from him, his fingers brushing over Remus’ as he did. “Thanks, Remi.” Sirius winked before turning around and leaving their shared dorm.

Remus watched him leave, sighing when he was left alone in the room. **Get it together Remus. He’ll never want you the way you want him. He’s perfect and you’re a monster.**

He’s an Omega. He is made for us. He would love us, we’d be good for him. His Alpha had been subtly dropping hints lately that he wanted Sirius as his mate, but this was the first time he’d come right out and said it. 

Throwing his bag over his shoulder, he walked out of their room making his own way down to breakfast, vowing to stay away from a romantic and physical relationship with Sirius. He deserved someone who could take care of him better than Remus would ever be able to. 

Remus shook his head, the shock of the news Sirius had given him still settling in. In the time since Sirius’ seventeenth birthday, they had been careful. Remus always made sure to have contraception potions on hand for Sirius to take each heat. He couldn’t believe that the one time they forgot was when Remus was finally ready to commit to Sirius, just be the two of them together. 

“Happy Birthday, Padfoot!” The three boys chorused. 

“Why thank you, gentlemen.” Sirius puffed his chest out as he smiled at his friends. “As the oldest, and therefore most mature of us all, I require all your attention for the rest of the day. Especially Moons, because I haven’t started that potions essay that’s due at two.” 

Rolling his eyes at Sirius’ theatrics, Remus inwardly groaned. If Sirius came into his inheritance while he was alone with him, the chances of him resisting an Omega in heat were slim. “Fine, but only because it’s your birthday. I’m not always going to be there to do your homework for you Padfoot.” 

“Fortunately for me, today is not that day.” He beamed at the sandy haired boy, staring at him just a fraction too long. Blushing, he bit his lip as he turned away. 

Remus blushed. Sirius had been making reasons for them to spend more time together. Innocent things, like homework, so it seemed entirely friendly despite what Remus wanted it to mean. 

“Ahem,” James interrupted the awkward flirty silence with a clear of his throat. “If you’re quite done addressing the peasants, Birthday Boy, can we head down for brekkie? I’m bloody starving.” 

“Yes, lead the way, oh haughty one.” Remus was happy for the change in direction. He couldn’t be certain James knew of his feelings for Sirius but he was thankful nonetheless for him stepping in. 

Everyone filed out of the room, but Remus hung back for a moment. Heading to his trunk, he grabbed the contraceptive potion for Sirius, hoping it wouldn’t be necessary and he’d be able to get Sirius to Madam Pomfrey before another Alpha had the chance to come on to him. 

The rest of the day proceeded like a normal Thursday, they had breakfast together in the Great Hall, Transfiguration, and the free period where Remus helped Sirius with his Potions essay. There was a moment in Charms when Remus thought it was happening but it turned out the heat he felt was Peter setting a feather on fire. Lunch in the Great Hall was as uneventful as breakfast had been. Slughorn droned on about the effects of Polyjuice Potion. Why they were reviewing a sixth year potion so early in the year was beyond Remus, but it did nothing to distract him from his thoughts of Sirius. 

The lack of anything happening all day had Remus on edge. He attempted to distract himself in the library but, everywhere he went, Sirius followed, making it hard for his thoughts to stray from the boy. After dinner the four boys headed back to the common room to allow Sirius to open his gifts from them. From Peter he had a fresh batch of blueberry scones. James gave him a new beater’s bat with a sweat resistant grip along with dragon hide beater’s gloves. Next came Remus’ gift. He handed the rectangle box over to Sirius. The wrapping paper was covered in moons and constellations, the corners perfectly angled. 

“I’ve never met anyone as meticulous with wrapping a present as you, Moons, which is saying something, considering all of the gifts from my childhood were wrapped with magic.” He smirked at the other boy as he carefully unwrapped the gift, trying not to tear the wrapping despite his jibe at him. 

“Just open the gift, Padfoot,” Remus blushed. He actually took the comment as a compliment. “Just because you throw the gift in a bag and call it a day doesn’t mean I’m ‘meticulous’ as you say.” 

“Well, maybe you should show me proper wrapping procedure some time so it’s more satisfying for you.” The smirk he sent Remus’ way had him weak in the knees. If he wasn’t already sitting down, they would have buckled beneath him.

“Oh, I’m sure that we could arrange something, Pads.” Remus wanted to kick himself. What was he doing being so blatant in front of all of Gryffindor? Remus felt his face heat up the more he thought about what he’d just said. 

Sirius looked away from Remus briefly but it wasn’t enough to hide the faint blush that had crept up on his cheeks. He regained his composure much faster than Remus and returned his attention to the gift in front of him. Opening the box, his eyes widened immediately. He pulled out the black dragonhide leather jacket gently. “Moony, I couldn’t possibly accept this.” 

“Oh, you don’t like it?” Remus looked down crestfallen. He’d thought it was the perfect gift for Sirius. “I thought it would be great for when you got the motorbike you’re always talking about.” 

“No, it’s perfect,” he rushed to assure the green eyed boy. “I love it, but it had to have cost you a fortune.” His right hand ran reverently over the leather, his face in awe at the gift before he looked back up at Remus. “It’s incredible, but you shouldn’t have spent so much on me.” There was a definite scarlet tint to his cheeks now. 

“Oh.” Remus was relieved and didn’t quite know how to respond. It did cost him a bit but it was perfect and well worth it to see the awed expression on his face. “Um, why don’t you try it on, Padfoot?” Remus stood up and grabbed the jacket from Sirius. The other boy quickly stood as well, letting Remus make the first move. He held it out for Sirius to put his arms through and, once he was in the jacket, Remus moved his hair out of the way to straighten his collar. His fingers lightly caressed Sirius’ neck as he did, sending a shiver through the other boy and a wave of his scent toward Remus. 

Remus stepped back thinking maybe this gift was a mistake. Just the way it held Sirius’ shoulders had him holding his breath. Sirius turned around to face the group and Remus thought he was going to die right then and there. The jacket was definitely a mistake; Sirius looked so damn sexy. Remus didn’t think he could spend another moment in public looking at him. 

“So, what do you think?” Sirius bit his lip, peeking through his lashes up at Remus. His pupils were blown wide, the grey irises barely visible, as he kept his gaze focused on the sandy haired boy. 

“I.. I think it looks great.” Remus tried to hide the blush that he knew was showing on his cheeks. The Omega wants us, see how he’s looking at us? Remus rubbed at his eyes. **It doesn’t matter if he wants us. He deserves better. **

“I’m going to head to bed, I’m a bit tired. Happy Birthday, Padfoot.” Remus pushed past the small crowd of people, doing his best to keep from looking back at the other boy. He crossed the common room to the entrance to the dormitories in record time. He slowly walked up the stairs to their room, it was already nine at night and it hadn’t happened yet. Maybe he was wrong all those years ago. Maybe Sirius was a beta and he’d been worked up over nothing. 

Remus tumbled into bed, not even bothering to undress. He knew sleep would evade him but he laid on his stomach anyhow, trying to will away his erection. He laid there in his bed for hours and, when the others had come up for bed, Remus pretended to be asleep. Once he was sure the others had fallen asleep, Remus removed his shirt and kicked off his shoes and socks, before drawing his curtains shut to the sound of Sirius moaning softly in his sleep. He pulled the potion from his pocket and placed it on the small side table next to his bed. 

It had to be near midnight when it finally happened. The smell instantly went straight to Remus’ cock. He tried to dig his face deeper into his pillow, attempting to block out the scent flooding over him. 

“R...Remi...” the voice was soft and pleading as his curtains were drawn open. Maybe if Remus laid still enough he wouldn’t know he was still awake. You should take care of the Omega. He needs you. His Alpha was purring at the opportunity to finally be with an Omega, one he’d considered his Omega for going on six years. **I can’t. He’s not ours to take.** He stiffened as he struggled to take his next breath. “I know you’re awake. Please.”

“What is it?” Remus said, still not moving his head from the pillow, speaking directly into it. He knew the second he lost all control of the situation would be the moment Sirius would touch him. Yet somehow he still wasn’t prepared when Sirius’ heated fingers ran down his spine as he felt the bed dip next to him. 

Remus came back to the present as Sirius pushed out of his embrace. Remus blinked back tears as he looked at his lover, vowing, from this moment on, to never leave Sirius’ side again. The thought of being a father terrified him. He hadn’t had a father figure that showed him how to be a parent, but at least he knew what not to do. He would take it one day at a time and they would figure it out together. 


	12. Chapter 12- Like all the Rest of the World isn't There

Sirius was lying beneath the Marauder’s favourite tree. The ground was thankfully dry and, even in the shade, it was comfortably warm. Turning on his side, he caught a glimpse of Remus. His eyes were closed with a slight breeze ruffling his sandy brown hair. 

Moments like these were his favourite. It was like when the werewolf was absorbed in reading, or the few times around the new moon when he felt almost completely at peace. Remus seemed to forget the world around him in those moments, and it presented Sirius with the perfect opportunity to observe him uninterrupted. Of course, usually he had to be cautious that no one else caught him staring either. Prongs would never let him live it down if he found out about his crush. 

Truthfully, it had passed crush territory quite some time ago, but considering the other boy hadn’t shown the slightest interest in Sirius it was just pathetic pining on his part. He felt like a character in one of those cliche Victorian novels Evans was always reading. Except it was very unlikely that it would ever end up with him being Mr. Sirius Lupin. So he took what he could get. Stolen moments of memorizing every detail of Remus were just enough to get him by. 

By some happy twist of fate it appeared that the two boys were alone outside. No voices or steps were within ear shot, and considering the enhanced hearing he’d gained since becoming an animagi, he was fairly certain there wasn’t anyone for quite some distance. It was very rare that the two were ever left alone, but he was not about to look a gift Abraxan in the mouth either. 

An amused smile pulled at the other boy’s pale pink lips. “Are you staring at me, Padfoot?” His tone was playful, but the reality of being caught froze Sirius in place. 

“Uhhh… I was just” Sirius scrambled to come up with an excuse. Green eyes blinked back the sunlight as Remus turned his head toward Sirius. 

“Do you think I don’t notice the way you watch me, Siri? That I’ve somehow missed the longing glances when I’m reading, or the lust filled looks when I’m changing in the dorms?” He’d rolled onto his side as he talked, biting his lip as his eyes scanned over Sirius’ face. The blush warming his cheeks was surely dark enough against his pale skin that Remus knew the words had affected him. 

“I’m sorry. If it makes you uncomfortable I can…” Sirius started, but was cut off by the other boy pressing one finger gently against his lips. His grey eyes went wide as Remus smirked over at him. 

“Did I say it made me uncomfortable?” The hushed tone of his words felt as if they were a physical caress. A slow shake of his head was all the response he could muster. Heat was slowly rising in his body as Remus’ hand moved to caress his cheek and his emerald stare flashed down to Sirius’ lips. “There is one thing however, that has made me extremely uncomfortable lately.” His breath ghosted across his face, causing the long haired boy to shiver under his watchful gaze. 

“What?” Sirius knew his voice was breathy, but he couldn’t find it in him to be self conscious right now. Every inch of his body was just this side of being too warm with Remus this close to him. 

“I’m so bloody tired of not knowing what your lips taste like.” The breath left his lungs in a harsh huff and suddenly he felt the warm soft pressure of the lips of the most incredible boy he had ever met against his own. And fucking hell if it wasn’t the most incredible feeling he’d experienced thus far in his short life. 

His skin was steadily increasing temperature, and he could feel himself starting to sweat beneath his oxford and slacks. Merlin, did kissing get everyone this hot and bothered? Sirius quickly parted his lips as he felt Remus’ tongue requesting entrance. A whimper was muffled by the other boy’s mouth as he desperately tried to press himself against his much cooler skin. The heat had passed merely uncomfortable and was quickly approaching unbearably painful. Which was saying something considering how often he’d been crucioed as a child. 

“Fuck.” The word slid between clenched teeth as something akin to fiendfyre circulated through his body. 

His eyes shot open as a shock of searing heat ran from his head to his toes pulling him from his dream. The bed was soaked in sweat and in his sleep he’d managed to kick off the duvet entirely, leaving him in nothing but his thin pajama bottoms. Bloody hell, even his most explicit dreams hadn’t had this much of an effect on him. It felt as if he was lying on a bed of hot coals. Sirius went to scream, but realized he couldn’t force out more than a pitiful whine. What the bloody hell was happening to him. If he didn’t get help soon he’d be boiled alive. 

_Alpha will help_. An oddly wistful voice said. It hadn’t been said out loud, Sirius was sure of that, but he’d heard it clear as a bell. 

_I don’t know what you mean? What Alpha? What’s going on?_ He thought it as loud as he could to the mysterious voice, praying it would be able to hear. 

_Alpha._ Taking a deep breath through his nose to try and calm himself down, he was met with a positively delectable scent. It was like a forest during a rainstorm, and somehow he knew if he found the source this unbearable fever would be cured. 

On extremely shaky legs, Sirius pulled back his bed curtains and took in another lungful of air. It was clear wherever the smell was, it was in the room with him. Turning his head to the right and sniffing lightly his heart started picking up speed. 

_Alpha. There._ Without thinking Sirius moved toward the bed immediately to his right. The scarlet curtains were pulled tight around it signaling that its occupant was more than likely sleeping. He’d just realized he hadn’t the faintest what time it was, but the voice in his head urged him to keep moving forward. 

Pulling the curtains back from the bed, Sirius audibly moaned at the burst of the sweet scent that seemed to swirl around him. The moonlight through the window illuminated the form of the boy in the bed before him. Remus was face down on the mattress, his head seeming buried into his pillow. 

“R...Remi?” The name was said in a whisper as Sirius kept taking greedy breaths of the scent that could only be coming from the body before him. He might have been tricked into believing the brown haired boy was asleep if it weren’t for the way his spine had stiffened on his next breath in. “I know you’re awake. Please.” He bit his lip hoping for any response from the other boy.

“What is it?” The words were muffled as Remus hadn’t pulled his head from where it was pressed into the pillow. He studied him for a moment, noticing the way he seemed to be waiting as long between breaths as humanly possible. His duvet was pooled around his waist showing the bare expanse of his back. Taking in the length of Remus’ body, the heat started back in full force. 

Acting seemingly without Sirius’ control, his body knelt on the side of the bed. The fingers of his right hand trailed down Remus’ spine, drawing what sounded like a soft growl from him. 

“I need… It’s so hot, Remi… Help me, please.” The sound of his voice was far more sultry than he had ever heard it before. How Remus was going to help he wasn’t sure, but instinctively he knew it had to be him. His other hand joined the first so his palms were pressed against Remus’ soft skin, rubbing slow circles over each side. 

“I don’t know… I could go get Madam Pomfrey or…” A slight tremor seemed to run through Remus as Sirius leaned closer so his breath was ghosting over the back of his neck. “I think… Fuck.” He started kissing across Remus’ shoulders, trailing his tongue every few inches and moaning at the taste of him. Moving toward the right side of his neck he was finally able to discern what the scent was. Pine trees and bergamot were immediately noticeable, and the soothing wave of rain was hitting him full on. Clearly this was where the smell was coming from and Sirius tried to nuzzle closer to taste that as well. 

Before he could get close enough however, Remus rolled over until he was on his back on the side farthest away from Sirius. A pitiful whine left his throat at the loss of contact. “You’re going into heat, Sirius. This isn’t you. You’re not thinking clearly.” His fists were balled at his sides as he finally lifted his green eyes to look at Sirius. Closing his eyes, at what appeared to be against his will, Remus inhaled deeply and bit his lip hard. “Good Godric, you smell so fucking good.” It was like it was almost painful for him to admit it, but the little voice in Sirius’ head seemed to purr happily at the observation. “I’ll go get Pomfrey, maybe she has somewhere you will be safe until it’s over.” 

One of his hands was covering his nose as if he were trying to block out Sirius’ scent. That just wouldn’t do. 

“I’ll be safe with you.” Sirius’ body moved again until he was straddling the other boy. The heat had been slightly soothed by being so close to Remus, but it was quickly gaining traction again. When he felt something unmistakably hard pressed against his arse he trembled slightly. Both boys let out groans of appreciation as Sirius ground against him fractionally. He’d been so caught up in the feverish temperature of his body that he hadn’t noticed his body’s other reactions. His cock was painfully hard, bottoms pulled taught and embarrassingly drenched. When he pressed down against Remus he could feel a slippery kind of wetness that ran down the back of his thighs. There was no way it was sweat, despite the fact that his skin was sticky with it. No, this was something entirely different, but in his current state it only urged him on. 

“Siri, really, I can’t let you.” Remus went quiet as the black haired boy slid off his bottoms, pressing his bare chest against his as he did so. Without intending to, he found his head tilting to the left as he pressed his bare prick against Remus’ clothed one. “You’re an Omega in heat. I know you think you want this right now, but once it’s done you’ll wish you hadn’t.” His voice had lowered in pitch considerably, and each breath Remus took found his face closer to the right side of Sirius’ neck that he had so willingly presented to him. 

“ _Please, Alpha._ ” The silky and submissive tone to Sirius’ own voice shocked him, and he found himself well and truly taking a backseat. Before now, Sirius hadn’t even dared to lie in the same bed as Remus, and here he was completely naked and rutting against the other man for all he was worth. Even though he wasn’t in control, he could feel everything around him as if it were magnified tenfold. “ _Want you._ ” The voice in his head spoke for them both. The front of Remus’ trousers were soaked through now, but instead of being disgusted, it seemed to fuel the flames flickering in his eyes. 

The other boy’s hands pushed gently against his chest until Sirius was in a sitting position once again. “Are you sure?” The Alpha swallowed loudly as the Omega’s hand moved to his own cock, stroking it slowly as he continued rubbing his arse over Remus’. 

“ _Yes. I need you. My Alpha._ ” A low growl rumbled through the brown haired boy’s chest that went straight to Sirius’ throbbing prick as he sped up his strokes. It was only worsening the need and accompanying burning in his veins, but he couldn’t seem to move his hand away. Nodding, Remus grabbed his wand from under his pillow and accioed a potion vial from somewhere in the room. Unstoppering it he pressed the cool glass to the Omega’s lips. Reflexively Sirius pulled back, refusing to open his mouth for the mystery substance. For all he knew he just intended to dose him with dreamless sleep. He and the voice in his head agreed that that could not be allowed to happen. 

“It’s a contraceptive potion, Siri. You have to drink it for me before I can help, okay?” Despite him willing his lips to part, his body did not obey the command. “I said drink.” The words were deceptively gentle, but caused Sirius to immediately still his movements. It was as if the very pitch of his voice made him want to please him in any way possible. Obediently, his mouth opened and the Alpha poured the contents in, waiting for him to swallow before dropping it lightly somewhere on the floor. 

So quickly he’d missed the motion, the Omega found himself on his stomach in the center of the bed. He could feel the Alpha’s hungry eyes running over his body as if he was ready to devour him whole. Just when he felt he couldn’t bear it any longer the boy moved down the bed and gently spread his arse wide. No one else had seen this part of Sirius, and he was sure in any other situation he’d be blushing fiercely at knowing that Remus was getting a front row seat. It wasn’t as if he’d planned for this eventuality, and suddenly Sirius cursed himself for not tidying up more down there. 

The anxiety was eased a bit when he heard the appreciative moan from the other boy seconds later. “Such a beautiful Omega.” It was the same husky tone he’d used when commanding him to drink the potion before, and his body trembled in response to his praise. Without a bit of forewarning, his tongue traced a slow path up Sirius’ crease. Sirius’ hips lifted from the mattress a fraction in surprise at the foreign but erotic feel of him eagerly lapping at every bit of his arse he could reach. “You taste so much better than I could have imagined,” he growled appreciatively from where his head was nestled below. “Such sweet slick, just for me.” The Alpha had scarcely finished speaking before the tip if his tongue was entering him slowly. 

He’d experimented with his own fingers a few times before, but the feel of Remus fucking him with his tongue was better than anything he’d ever experienced before now. “ _Please._ ” Sirius wasn’t sure what his voice was pleading for, but if it was anything like this, he hoped Remus did. 

“Patience, sweet Omega.” When he’d pulled back to speak he’d slid two fingers into his tight hole instead. Surprisingly, the slight discomfort he usually had when he allowed himself more than one of his own fingers was absent. Infact, it wasn’t nearly enough. He wanted more. No, he needed it. His boiling body was shaking in earnest now. 

“ _Please. It hurts._ ” Tears pricked at his eyes as he craned his neck to look back at the other boy. Seeing the pain on his face brought the Alpha to a complete standstill. He gently turned Sirius over and nuzzled into his neck, licking over an exceedingly sensitive spot on the right side of his neck he hadn’t realized existed before now. 

“It’s okay. I’m going to take care of you. Such a perfect Omega.” His legs were gently spread by the green eyed boy and his breath caught in his throat as he felt what could only be the head of his cock at his entrance. When he’d taken the rest of his clothes off Sirius wasn’t sure, but the feel of his bare skin was incredible.

Conflicting emotions raged through him and, for a moment, he seemed to regain enough control of his body that he tensed in response. This was something he’d dreamed of for longer than he cared to admit, but he was also terrified. From his experiments, he knew he was most definitely too tight for more than three fingers at even his most relaxed. They hadn’t used any lube either, but he supposed that whatever had been dripping down his thighs was plenty effective when it came to Remus’ fingers. 

“It’s okay. Relax. I promise you it’s not going to hurt. Your Alpha’s here now.” The feel of his breath over his neck had him sighing in pleasure already. So far he had no reason to believe that what he’d said wasn’t true. He knew that he needed something more, and he trusted him inherently. Letting out a deep breath, Sirius let his body yield to the boy above him. As if sensing him giving over control, the Alpha sucked lightly on his neck and slid his cock into him until his pelvis was flush against his arse. 

“ _Yes. Alpha._ ” The words were an unrestrained moan as he gave himself over to the perfection that was Remus Lupin slowly fucking him into the bed. “ _More. Please I need more._ ” Sirius wasn’t the one speaking, but he wholeheartedly agreed with the voice. 

“You’re taking my cock so beautifully.” His thrusts sped up as he spoke against Sirius’ throat. “You were made for me.” Sirius felt his heart swell at the idea. “I’m going to make you mine. My perfect Omega.” A wanton moan left him as he lifted his hips trying to take Remus even deeper. 

“ _Yes. Yours, Alpha, all yours._ ” Panting between whimpers and moans, he couldn’t help but love the wet sounds of the Alpha’s prick sliding into him and the quickening cadence of their skin colliding each time he thrust back in hard. Before he knew it, Sirius felt himself teetering on the edge of his orgasm. 

“I can feel you tightening around my cock. Do you want to cum for me?” The words alone nearly pushed him over the edge, but somehow he held back. Alpha hadn’t given him permission and, as ridiculous as it sounded, he needed that more than his climax at the moment. 

“ _I want it so badly. Can I cum, Alpha? Please let me cum for you._ ” It all came out in a rush as he bit his lip hard to keep from giving in to the urge. Merlin, he prayed to any deity listening that he would give him permission. His eyes went wide as Remus’ cock seemed to grow even bigger inside him, stretching him to his absolute max. 

“Now.” The single syllable was all it took to have the Omega falling apart. He vaguely registered the sound of “Alpha” echoing in the dorm room and the feel of his own cum covering his chest and abdomen. Two more shallow thrusts and Remus was filling him with what felt like an impossible amount of his own seed. Even more baffling was that none of it dripped down his crease and onto the sheets under him. He was too exhausted to examine it any further, however, and simply relished the moment. The blazing heat had subsided a bit in his post orgasmic daze. If or when it would return again, he wasn’t sure but, wrapped in his Alpha’s strong arms, he knew that, no matter what happened, he would, in fact, be okay. 

Thinking back to his first heat had Sirius confused more than anything. At the time he hadn’t realized how insistent he’d been that Remus be the one to take care of him. Merlin, how many times had he denied him that night? Sure, he’d have said that it was the Omega’s doing, that he didn’t actually have any say or control, but was that entirely true? 

He wasn’t directly doing all of those things, but he hadn’t really tried to stop it either. What if he’d forced Remus into something he never wanted? Perhaps he’d used the Alpha’s instincts against him, and afterwards he'd felt obligated to continue on with it. If that hadn’t been bad enough, he’d somehow gotten him to claim him as well. Now he was bloody pregnant with his child. A child neither of them had discussed or planned for, who existed solely because he’d been a complete moron and forgotten to take his contraceptive potion. Considering how insistent he had been that first heat that Sirius took the potion, he was positive this hadn’t been on the other man’s agenda anytime soon. At least not with him. 

Maybe, subconsciously, this was what Sirius had wanted all along? He’d dreamed of being with Remus for so many years, and begged him to mark him Godric knows how many times, but that wasn’t at all the same as carrying his baby. Sure, if it all worked out, he had hoped that they would someday have a family. That was a huge if and it most definitely should have been after they had discussed and planned for it all. Hopefully after they'd gotten married and had time to settle down beforehand. Instead, he was nearly a month pregnant and scrambling to think of anything that might make this situation more manageable. Remus started to say something, but Sirius quickly cut him off.

“I know neither of us planned for this.” Biting his lip, he fought back tears. Right now he needed to appear confident and assured. He’d never be able to live with himself if he forced Remus to do this. His entire life had been controlled by one thing or another. Lycanthropy, his father, and now Albus bloody Dumbledore. No way would he add his name or his child’s to that list. “I can raise it on my own.” Looking up into the other man’s green eyes, he did his best to tamp down the miniscule amount of hope he had that Remus would want this. Would want them. His throat felt tight as the words left him. “You don’t have to stay.” 


	13. Chapter 13- Glimpse Beyond The Illusion

“I am not going anywhere Sirius Black.” Remus gave a firm look to his lover. “I will not leave your side again. Dumbledore, and anyone else who tries to change that, can go to hell.” He knew his track record was against him here, but he would do everything in his power to keep his promise.

They moved from the edge of the bed to the center. Remus pulled Sirius into his arms, refusing to let the other man go. “These last three weeks have been hell without you. I never want to go through that again.” 

“I missed you so much. I know that sounds pathetic but, Merlin, I needed you.” He nuzzled into Remus and blushed as he moved one of his hands to his stomach. “Well, I guess we needed you. My Alpha.” He blushed even harder and tried to bury his face in the other man’s chest. 

“I missed you too, I could feel your emotions the entire time, it nearly broke me to know I was the cause of your hurt.” He paused, his voice caught in his throat. “I’m so sorry, Siri.” He kissed the other man's head gently.

“What happened?” He traced his fingers over the line crisscrossing the other man’s shoulders and chest. “Who did this to you?” A scowl came over his face as he studied them closer. 

Remus took a deep breath. He knew he’d have to talk about it eventually, he just didn’t want to relive any of the time he was away. Closing his eyes to the world to steady himself so he could explain, he said, “Fenrir.” It came out as shaky as he felt. He hadn’t realized until he spoke that he was actually trembling. “He’d shown up and taken over the camp. I didn’t even get the worst of it.” He hoped that, if he downplayed what happened to him, Sirius wouldn’t march off to Dumbledore himself.

“Remi, I’ve been your friend for nearly nine years, and your almost lover for close to four. There’s something you’re not telling me.” Pulling back just enough to look up at the Alpha with a solemn expression, he said, “If we’re gonna do this, we can’t have any more secrets. What really happened?” He gently caressed Remus’ cheek as he waited for a response.

“Everyday for three weeks I had to be thankful that you hadn’t claimed me back. The pack leader’s Omega... she got the worst of it. Every night Fenrir would rape her right in front of us, their Alpha was in the cage right next to me. The physical and mental pain he went through each time because of their bond, ended up being what killed him. I spent the entire time having to be happy Fenrir didn’t know about you. If he had, you would have been the dead Omega and I the dead Alpha.” Well, he’d said it. He only hoped Sirius knew that he was only thankful for that because of it saving Sirius’ life, not because he didn’t want people to know about him. “He would come into my cage each night and cut me up with a knife or his claws, talk about my father and my mother. He tried to break me, I was lucky to escape when I did.” Remus’ breath was erratic by the time he finished telling Sirius what had happened. 

“Fuck.” The word was a whisper as he let out a shaky breath. “Merlin, I’m a right cunt. I’ve spent this entire time feeling sorry for myself or hating you, meanwhile you were being literally tortured.” He shook his head as a tear rolled down his cheek. “I’m sorry doesn’t even begin to cover it.” 

“Don’t. Don’t apologize to me Siri. You didn’t know, you had no way of knowing.” 

“Maybe I didn’t, but I’m sure Mister Greater Good did.” His eyes narrowed before looking up at a slightly guilty looking Remus. “That’s it. I’m going to fucking murder Albus Dumbledore when I see him again.” 

“You will do no such thing Sirius Black. I will handle Dumbledore.” Remus gave a pointed look that dared Sirius to defy him. “After we eat lunch I am going to speak with him.” When the other man went to argue he cut him off quickly. “You’re welcome to join me if you want, but I will not have you going to Azkaban for murder.” 

Sirius pouted in response. “You don’t think they’d accept pregnancy hormones as a defence then?” 

“Not likely. No.” Remus chuckled. “Now, let’s get some lunch and I will tell you how I got this black eye, because that’s a rather entertaining story.”

“Thank Godric! I’m starving.” Sirius sighed dramatically, starfishing on the bed as best as he could. “Any chance I could convince you to carry me there?” He smirked cheekily at the green eyed man. 

“Is there any type of food we should avoid? Anything our miscreant doesn’t seem particularly fond of?” 

“To be honest, I’m not sure most of the time until I actually smell it.” He wrinkled his nose. “If this morning is anything to go by, fish is definitely out.” 

“Okay, no fish then, how about that new Deli that opened up in Diagon Alley, then we can go to Fortescue’s for some ice cream after?” Remus reluctantly got out of the bed, holding his hand out to pull Sirius from the bed with him. 

“I think I could be persuaded into a bacon sarnie.” Sirius smiled. “Although I just realized neither of us are wearing shirts, and you and your bottoms are filthy.” He raised an eyebrow. “Unfortunately, no sexual innuendo intended.” 

“Then we’ll take a shower first, and you can find me some appropriate clothing. Deal?” Remus knew he was looking for trouble letting Sirius pick out his clothing but he didn’t have many options here at his flat. He’d have to do something about that soon. 

“When you say, we’ll take a shower I suppose you mean…”

“That we will each take a shower, then go get lunch. I’m sure you’ve been living off of crisps since I’ve been gone.” The other boy huffed and avoided making eye contact. “After we speak to Dumbledore, we can spend the rest of the day in bed.”

“I call first shower, then,” the onyx-haired boy called over his shoulder as he sauntered into the bathroom, leaving the door open a crack behind him. 

Remus looked around the room while Sirius showered, he went to his drawers hoping he had something somewhat sensible for Remus to wear. Upon opening the top drawer hoping to find some socks Remus found broken glass instead. When he pulled out the frame, it felt like he’d been stabbed in the chest with the glass in his hand, it was the last picture the four of them had taken before Sirius presented as an Omega. Remus cast a quick Repario and put the picture back in the drawer, he wouldn’t mention it unless Sirius brought it up first.

“It’s all yours.” The voice from behind startled him, causing him to jump. 

Remus turned around and walked towards the bathroom, stopping to give Sirius a quick kiss on the cheek. “Thank you. I’ll be quick.” 

Remus entered the steamy bathroom. Sirius had left the water running for him, so he quickly stripped out of his trousers. They were definitely ruined; he’d probably have to take Sirius up on that offer to buy him new clothes. 

The water stung as it hit his back and chest, Remus stepped out the spray, leaning his head forward to wet his hair. He looked around, the only shampoo that Sirius owned was a mint and eucalyptus deep moisturizer. **That’s why his hair is so soft.** Remus laughed at himself, he didn’t know why he’d expected anything else. 

Rinsing out his hair, Remus turned off the water and stepped out of the bath. He looked around and noticed that Sirius hadn’t left him a towel. He strolled into the bedroom, dripping water in his wake. “Siri, I need a towel please.”

“I much prefer the sight of you naked and dripping wet, if I say so myself.” 

“Yes, well, if we’re to be going in public I will need to be dry with some clothes, don’t you think? I don’t think we should traumatize all of Diagon Alley with my body.” Remus closed the gap between them, taking Sirius’ towel from around his waist. “Now, how about you get dressed and find me your most sensible pants, they’ll need to be altered to fit me anyways.”

“Fine, but for the record my way would have been much more fun.” Sirius turned toward his dresser and opened the top drawer, pausing as he saw the repaired photo. He pulled out the black frame and smiled at the photo before looking up at Remus. “I couldn’t make myself fix it after you left the first time, but I’d never throw it out either.” Setting it on top of the dresser he huffed and opened several more drawers before sighing. “Gritchen!” 

Remus stiffened as he heard the call for the house-elf, the last time he’d spoken with the elf, he’d been cold towards Remus. He couldn’t imagine his feelings towards him had gotten any better in the last three weeks.

“Yes, Master Siri… YOU!” The small elf was wearing bright blue today, but all Remus could see was the furious set to his face. “You left Master Sirius. Gritchen tried his best to comfort him, yes he did.” He had jumped up onto the bed so he was closer to Remus’ height as he continued on his scolding. “Gritchen brought breakfast as instructed, but Master Remus never returns.” The small elf’s hands were firmly on his hips as he stared up at him. “Now he is here in my Master’s room with no clothes. What do you have to say for yourself?” 

“Gritchen! That’s no way to talk to a guest.” Sirius stepped in to try and defend the other man. 

“No, he’s right, Siri. I shouldn’t have ever left. I should have stayed. If I had then none of this would have happened and Gritchen wouldn’t have had to take care of you.” Remus then turned to address the elf directly. “Gritchen, I’m sorry I didn’t return, but I am eternally thankful for what you have done to take care of Sirius while I was away. I know you have no reason to believe me but I will not leave him again.” 

“Gritchen will always take care of Master Sirius.” He responded, giving an appraising glance at the other man. “Gritchen will give Master Remus another chance, but only because the baby needs parents, yes it does.” 

“We will be revisiting the fact that you apparently knew I was pregnant and neglected to tell me at a later time.” Sirius said after a moment of quiet. The elf looked completely unrepentant as he continued. “For now, Master Remus and I require some clean clothes if you will.” With a snap of his fingers a pile of freshly laundered clothes appeared on the bed. A curt bow was all the response the house-elf gave before he disappeared with a loud crack.

“Well, that went better than I expected.” Remus sighed as he stepped towards the bed to grab one set of the clothes laid out. 

“Ah ah. You said I’d get to pick your clothes.” A smirk firmly planted on his face, Sirius shoved clothes aside until he found what he was looking for. “This will do nicely.” 

Sighing, Remus took the clothes that Sirius handed to him, on the surface they looked innocent enough. Dark blue jeans and a grey button up shirt. “Um Siri, can I have some pants please?” 

“Buzzkill.” Sirius joked handing him a pair of black silk boxers. 

“Thank you. Miscreant.” They both got dressed in semi companionable silence that was until Remus squeaked when he realized just how tight the jeans Sirius had handed him were. “Siri, do you really think these jeans are sensible?”

“Why would I want sensible when I can have delectable?” he scoffed, smirking appreciatively at Remus and leaning back a bit to get a look at the other man’s arse. “Merlin, you’re so bloody fit.” 

“Siri, stop staring.” There was no bite behind it, Remus flashed a smirk of his own. If he’d turn around, he’d have been staring at Sirius’ arse as well. 

“Now why would I do that, Remi?” He leaned into the R and stepped a bit closer biting his lip. While the jeans he’d given Remus were tight on him, the ones Sirius had pulled on looked almost as if they were a second skin. “I spent the entirety of my teens having to steal glances at you when I thought you wouldn’t notice. Now that I get to look, I plan to, as much as I can.” He tilted his head to the side just enough that the light scar of Remus’ bite mark was visible. 

A small gasp escaped him at the sight, the last time he’d seen the mark it was fresh and swollen, now it was a nice silver scar on his neck. Remus thought it was the most beautiful thing he’d seen. “Can you hand me my wand, I really need to make these jeans longer if I’ll be caught out in public in them.” 

The long haired man laughed softly and made a show of bending over the bed to grab his wand and a t-shirt off the bed, standing back up to put the smooth cypress into his hand. 

“Thanks.” Remus took his wand and altered the jeans to be longer and slightly looser as well. Not too much to upset Sirius but enough so he felt he could at least breathe while wearing them. “Ready to go?” 

He took Sirius’ hand, and walked out of the room. They made their way to the front of the building to apparate to Diagon Alley. Remus led the way to the deli, never letting go of Sirius’ hand. As promised, after they ate lunch together, Remus took Sirius’ hand in his again and led him to Fortescues’ ice cream parlor. He smiled the entire afternoon. Not having to worry about hiding his feelings for Sirius any longer, being able to hold his hand, showing him affection and mostly seeing his mark on display for all to see made him happier than he could ever remember being. 

“I’m going to see Albus now, did you still want to come?” He almost secretly hoped that Sirius wouldn’t want to join him. While he wanted to tell Dumbledore he wouldn’t be taking any more missions, he was worried about how Sirius would react to seeing the older wizard. 

“You’re not getting rid of me that easily, Lupin. Let’s go see the old man.” Remus looked into the mischievous grey eyes before giving in and apparating them both to Hogsmeade Village. Along the walk up to the castle, Remus had to remind Sirius that he would not get away with murder today. 

Once inside the castle, they made the familiar walk to the Headmasters office. At the gargoyle, they gave the current password and went right in. 

“Ah, Mister Lupin, how nice to see you returned to us.” The old man barely hid the disappointment behind his eyes at the sight of Sirius standing next to him. 

“It’s nice to be home with my mate, especially after so much time away.” Remus knew he’d have to be quick or this conversation would turn bloody quick.

“Your mate? Ah, I do see a claim mark on Mister Black that wasn’t there before. How nice.” The twinkle in the man’s eye was gone. He looked at them as if he would rather be shooting daggers at them. “What can I do you for, gentleman?”

“I’m here to tell you, I will not be returning to the field. I will not go to any more wolf camps. I can’t go back out there, Albus.” 

“My dear boy, that just won’t do. We need the wolves on our side if we’re to win this war.” 

“I don’t think you heard him correctly, Headmaster. He said he will not be returning. You can find someone else to go. He nearly died on this last mission.” Sirius was raging, Remus knew the only thing keeping him from physically hurting the man was that his hand was still firmly clasped in Remus’. 

“What happened to Mister Lupin was quite unfortunate but this is a war and we will need to get everyone we can to fight.” Dumbledore rose from behind his desk, signifying the conversation was over. 

“No. I will not be a pawn in your war any longer Albus. You will find someone else to go to the wolf camps or you can do it yourself. I don’t care but I will not be returning and that’s final.” Remus glared at the man. At the small nod from him, Remus turned and dragged Sirius out of the office. 

“Now, what do you say we return home and spend the rest of the day in bed?” He shot Sirius a sly smile before they made their way out of the castle and back to the village so they could apparate home.


	14. Chapter 14- I know I needed you

It had been three months since Remus and Sirius had started, well, dating didn’t seem like the right word, but it was the closest Sirius could seem to come up with. It had taken less than a week for Remus to give in and move into what was now their flat. Gritchen was still unsure of whether or not he trusted the man, but the thought of a little one made him give the benefit of the doubt. Especially considering that he’d never had the chance to take care of a family where his uncle was concerned. 

Sirius mumbled sleepily as he burrowed further into Remus’ bare chest. They’d taken to sleeping with as few clothes as possible. Between his hot flashes and Remus’ nightmares, the skin to skin contact comforted them both. Despite his better instincts, the Omega still woke up in the middle of the night terrified that the other man had left. “Mmmm… you smell sooo good.” He pressed a soft kiss to his chest before looking up into his lover’s green eyes.

“Mmm. You smell better.” Remus murmured before he leaned down and captured Sirius’ lips with a kiss. 

Smiling into the kiss he let one hand move into Remus’ short hair. This was his favourite part of actually being together as a couple of sorts. Getting to kiss him whenever he wanted was better than Sirius would have thought. They’d discussed it not long after Remus had moved in, and Sirius had been overjoyed to learn that he was Remus’ first and only with everything as well. Since entering his second trimester Sirius had found himself almost unbearably horny. It didn’t matter where they were or what they might be doing, somehow he always felt the need to pounce on his Alpha. It was almost as bad as being in heat, except that he couldn’t just whisk him away to the room for days at a time. That didn’t mean he couldn’t take advantage of the opportunities that presented themselves, though. 

“Good enough to eat?” He mumbled against Remus’ lips, rolling his hips lightly against Remus’ thigh so he could feel his hardening cock. 

With a sinful smile, the Alpha slid his hand down and wrapped it around him, stroking slowly but with just enough pressure to make Sirius’ toes curl. 

“I have to admit, waking up to this every morning is something straight out of my teenage fantasies.” Remus’ voice was husky, but didn’t hold the same timber that his Alpha had. Not that Sirius minded. As much as he loved having his Alpha fucking him, having Remus making love to him was extraordinary. 

“Godric, you have no idea how many mornings I woke up just a little bit earlier so I could stroke my cock while thinking about you.” He moaned as Remus stroked him faster, using his thumb to spread his pre-cum over the head of his cock before picking the pace up again. “I was both scared and unbelievably turned on at the thought of you catching me hard for you every morning.” 

“Fuck, Siri. You would have killed me.” Letting go of his prick for a moment, his arm wrapped around Sirius, pulling him closer so both their erections were pressed against each other. His large hand wrapped around both as he continued talking. “It took everything in me to keep from touching you, kissing you, fucking you.” He groaned the last two words as his hand sped up even more. Their pre-cum was starting to run down their lengths providing a slick sensation that had Sirius gritting his teeth to keep from cumming. 

“So fucking good.” The words were more of a loud moan as he felt the pressure building, Remus’ prick twitching against him in the most erotic way. 

“Cum for me, Love.” Whether it was the permission or endearment that pushed him over the edge Sirius had absolutely no clue. Not that it mattered as his nails dug lightly into Remus’ back and his seed painted their abdomens. “Fuck, Siri.” Remus’ words were followed by a growl as his own orgasm washed over him. He kept the pace up until they were both too sensitive to be touched. 

Both men were panting a bit after the more rigorous activity, and Sirius couldn’t help but sigh happily into Remus’ mouth as they met in the middle for a gentle kiss. With a few more kisses, the green eyed wizard looked down at the mess currently coating both of them. 

“Well, I think it’s time for a shower.” He blushed a bit at the realization. Although they’d both had an absurdly large amount of sex during Sirius’ heats, they were still getting used to being intimate without their pheremones in the driver's seat, which usually meant that they each tried their best not to think too much about the fact that they had rarely had time to study one another’s body so closely. 

“Considering I have an hour until I’m expected at the Ministry, I’m afraid you’re right.” A disgruntled grumble left his lips as he carefully untangled himself from the Alpha. He made it to the bathroom and turned on the tap before the sleep rumpled man joined him.

“Or, since you’re incredibly wealthy and pregnant, you could stay home and let me dote on you all day.” Remus had moved behind Sirius so he could press his lips to his mark. The Omega couldn’t help but grin at his boyfriend’s antics. Yes, if this morning was any indication they were definitely boyfriends. 

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were going all Alpha male on me, Sir.” He could feel the deep rumble of Remus’ laugh behind him as they moved toward the now warm shower. The taller wizard turned him around so that they were facing one another. 

“Oh I most definitely am, my perfect pregnant Omega.” Sirius couldn’t keep from blushing as the Alpha’s eyes moved down to his quickly growing bump. At nearly four months it was getting very difficult to hide, even under his auror robes. “It’s my responsibility to keep you and our pup safe.” 

“I’m nearly done with my trainee year, and Prongs will have to take some paternity leave soon.” It wasn’t that he didn’t want to stay at home with Remus and prepare for their child, but he was afraid that walking away from his job now meant that he may never get it back. “I promise, if things get too dangerous, I’ll apply for early leave.” With a reluctant nod from his boyfriend they left the conversation for now, and cleaned one another. 

A week after their conversation, the men were getting ready to head over to the Potters' for dinner. Luckily, Sirius and Lily seemed to have similar cravings, so the ginger witch had made sure the menu was friendly for the other Omega. 

“So what do you think it is?” Sirius asked, and he pulled on a pair of slacks and a black button down. 

“Think what is, Love?” Remus was leaning against the wall, having dressed before Sirius got home. 

“Prongs said they had some kind of important news, but the git refused to tell me what it was.” He glanced in the mirror, making sure his hair was in place before turning around. “Which was exceptionally rude, don’t you think Remi?” 

“Why is that?” Pushing off the wall, Remus walked over and put his hands on the other man’s hips pulling him closer. “Is it because you are notoriously impatient, Siri?” 

“Obviously.” Sirius leaned into him happily, loving the soothing scent his Alpha gave off. With a smirk, the other man leaned down to plant a loving kiss on his lips, cutting it short seconds before it turned heated. 

“Well then, we better hurry up and get there then and find out.” It was clear he was barely holding back a chuckle when Sirius opened his eyes showing his dilated pupils. 

“You are a right tease, Remus John Lupin.” He pouted and adjusted himself in his slacks just a bit. 

“Be my good little Omega, and I’ll more than make up for it later.” With a salacious grin, he moved his hands, and grabbed Sirius’ right in his left. Pulling him toward the fireplace, Remus grabbed a handful of powder and ushered him into the floo. Throwing the powder, Sirius called, “Potter Residence,” and was whisked away to their friend’s home. 

He’d scarcely made it out of the hearth before the other man appeared in the place, brushing soot off his brown trousers and cream coloured shirt. Lacing their fingers together again, the men walked into the kitchen towards the scrumptious smell wafting from it. Lily was leaning against the counter while James stirred a bubbling pot on the stove. For her part, the young woman looked as if she was ready to burst. She was at the very end of her last trimester, and looked a bit like she'd swallowed a giant pygmy puff. 

“Sirius!” She excitedly called out as she noticed their arrival and waddled over to him. Hugging was getting complicated at this point, each trying to reach their arms out without pressing their stomachs together in earnest. Letting him go, she smiled down at his bump before looking over at Remus. It hadn’t taken her long to forgive the other man in light of all that had happened, but she made it clear that if any arguments should arise, the pregnant one was always right. Remus readily agreed to that, with a kiss on his lover’s cheek. “Well come here then, Remus. You’re much too tall and I’m far too pregnant to try and hug you on my own.” Lily huffed. With a chuckle, he leaned down and hugged their friend. 

“Is it a wise idea to leave Prongsy in charge of anything consumable.” Sirius asked, only half joking. 

“Oi, I’m an excellent chef thank you very much!” the messy haired wizard threw back, still diligently stirring the pot before him.

“And by that he means, I’ve done everything up to this point, and he’s just stirring the veg for effect.” Lily laughed as her husband blushed so hard it was visible even on his tanned skin. “But I love him all the more for it.” When she moved toward him, he obligingly ducked to allow her to plant a loud kiss on his cheek before pulling her wand from her robes. With a flick, plates and dishes went flying toward the dining room at a rapid pace. The vegetable medley floated into a bowl and was the last of the meal to gracefully hover over to the table. At James’ gesture both men walked into the room, rounding to their usual spaces across the table from James and Lily. 

“For you, Good Sir.” Remus pulled out Sirius’ chair brushing a soft kiss on his lips. 

“Such a gentleman,” he replied, sitting slowly into the offered chair. 

“Why, can’t you be more like that?” the ginger witch asked, turning toward her husband. For his part, the man scrambled to pull his wife’s chair out and dropped a gentle kiss on the top of her head. 

Once everyone was seated they excitedly dug into the meal. Not much was said in the first ten or so minutes. It was easy to forget about the impending news the other couple apparently had when he was faced with what nearly amounted to a small feast, especially when he was as ravenous as he had seemed to be the last month or so. It was time for dessert before he was reminded of the real reason for their visit. 

“So, we know you two are still figuring things out and you have a little one of your own on the way, but we were hoping that you wouldn’t mind…” Lily started but was cut short by her husband. 

“Will you be our baby’s Dogfathers?” The question hung in the air for a second before both men gave a chuckle. 

“Did you really just cut off your wife to make a dad joke?” the other Omega asked, raising one eyebrow. 

“That was an incredible pun and you know it!” his friend replied, drawing another laugh from his fellow Marauders. 

“We would be honored to accept. Right, Siri?” Remus said, placing his hind on Sirius’ thigh and holding his hand once again. 

“Of course! We’ll have Prongslet well on his way to making mischief before you can say Zonko's.” Lily threw her hands up in the air in mock exasperation but otherwise stayed quiet. Dishing up the chocolate cake for the four, she sent a plate to each of the men. Raising a glass of sparkling cider, Lily made a toast, urging the Marauders to follow suit.

“To our children. May they be nothing like their fathers.” A chorus of “heys” filled the room as the woman tried not to spit out the sip of cider she’d taken. 

“How dare you,” Sirius huffed. “Moony is a bloody treasure, and Godric knows, the only thing to passingly keep Prongs and I from expulsion.” The Alpha blushed a bit as he took another bite of the rich dessert. 

“Fine, I’ll allow Remus, but only on the condition that they’re corrupted as easily as he was.” Lily sniffed, and all four burst into laughter seconds later. 

It was only two days after their dinner that a bright blue stag came galloping into Remus and Sirius’ room. Both men blinked back the bright light as their friend’s voice filled the space. 

“IT’S HAPPENING! GODRIC WHAT HAVE I DONE? I’M NOT READY FOR THIS. HELP! ST. MUNGOS ROOM THREE-FIFTEEN!” 

“Well it looks like we have to go save our friend’s arse yet again, handsome,” Remus said sleepily, pulling the duvet and sheets back to stumble toward their dresser and wardrobe. A groaning and half comatose Sirius dressed in whatever his mate threw at him and allowed himself to be sidealonged to the wizarding hospital. 

“Merlin.” The Omega was bent over dry heaving for a moment, his lover rubbing soothing circles on his back. “Apparently apparating is only okay if I’m the one doing it. Noted.” Finally standing up straight, the two men rushed to the nearest desk to ask for directions to their friends. 

Turning down the last hallway, a pacing and frantic James came into view. His hair was messier than usual, no doubt due to the way he kept running his fingers through it. The man’s hazel eyes seemed half crazed in his panic, but lost a bit of their manic spark when he noticed the two men walking toward him. 

“Thank, Merlin, Morgana, and all four founders,” he sighed. “I’m totally in over my head. How on earth am I meant to take care of a baby? I can barely remember to replace the toilet roll when I use it all.” 

Sirius barely held in a laugh at his friend’s statement, but knew right now he needed them to keep a calm demeanor. “You’re ready for this, Prongsy. Trust me. You’ve been in love with this witch since we were eleven years old haven’t you?” 

He nodded in response. “But that’s different.” 

“No, it’s not at all Prongs. The only thing you’ve ever been committed to is loving her, and this little being is going to be a piece of you both. The perfect combination of the two of you and the love that brought them into this world.” Remus stepped in, wrapping his arm around Sirius’ waist. Sirius smiled as he looked down at him. Clearly he meant what he was saying, but the Omega didn’t feel as if he was just speaking about James in that moment. The thought brought a warmth to his chest, and nearly threatened tears of joy to run down his cheeks. 

“What if I mess it all up?” The man’s voice was quiet, almost as if he was afraid the words would turn into a kind of self fulfilling prophecy. 

“There’s no doubt that all four of us are going to make quite a few mistakes along the way, but we’ll do our best and love them for all we’re worth, which is more than I could ever say for my parent’s growing up.” Sirius rested one hand on his friend’s shoulder. “And for what it’s worth, I think you’ll make an amazing father, Prongs.” 

“Thanks, Pads.” Taking a deep breath James stood up straighter and smiled.

“I think you should get back in there to your wife before she hexes your bollocks off tho, mate,” Remus joked. A panicked look crossed the other man’s face at the reminder of his laboring wife in the next room. 

“Oh bloody hell.” Both men laughed as their friend ran through the door, and his muffled apologies for his absence filtered through the door. 

“That man is lucky she loves him so much.” Sirius joked looking up at his boyfriend. 

“That’s something Prongs and I have in common I guess.” A confused look passed over the Omega’s face as he continued. “Both of us have Omegas much too good for us carrying our children, and loving us.” Sirius swallowed thickly as he looked up at the other man. 

“You’re assuming I love you now are you?” The words were meant to be lighthearted but he could hear his own apprehension. 

“I’m not assuming anything.” Remus smiled. “You told me so yourself. After I marked you, right before you fell asleep, you told me you loved me.” A quiet gasp fell from Sirius’ lips. “I knew then that, even if I hadn’t marked you yet, I could never live without you again.”

“Why is that?” Sirius felt breathless asking the question, but he had to know.

“Because despite it all, how hard I tried to distance myself, how I tried to say I was just being a good friend, or that you only wanted me during your heats because I was safe… despite all of it, somehow you felt the same way I did.” One of his hands gently stroked across Sirius’ cheek. 

“That’s a really good answer.” He smiled up at the other man and pulled him down by his shirt, kissing him with all the love he’d kept hidden inside himself. Before now neither had mentioned the actual “L” word. Sure, Remus and he had argued about their love for each other when the pregnancy had come to light, but, even then, it hadn’t been directly said. Pulling back for air, Sirius went to speak, but was cut off by his Alpha. 

“I love you Siri, so fucking much sometimes I feel like it’s liable to swallow me whole.” This time, Sirius did actually let a few tears fall. 

“I love you too. You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to hear you say those words.” He shook his head and laughed lightly. 

“Probably about as long as I’ve wanted to say them.” Leaning down, their lips found each other again. 

“As much fun as it is to watch you two snog in a hospital hallway, I’d rather my best mates came in here and met their godson.” Both men sprang apart, blushing slightly at the surprise of their friend’s voice. 

Hurrying into the room after their friend, a sweaty and smiling Lily Potter came into view. In her arms was a squirming bundle whose only visible trait from this far off was a head of raven hair, the same colour as his father’s. 

“Padfoot, Moons, I’d like to introduce you to my son, Harry James Potter.” James’ chest was puffed out like a proud peacock as he looked down at the sleeping child in his wife’s arms. 

“Hey, little Prongslet. I know you don’t know it yet, but you’re going to have the best life. Your mum, dad, and Uncle Moons and I are going to make sure of it.” The baby, yawned and stretched a bit, slowly opening his eyes to look at the two men destined to be his godparents. 

“Oh, Lily. He’s got your eyes.” Remus smiled as James stoked his wife’s cheek, staring at his son with such pure love in his eyes, Sirius was sure the boy would never forget what it meant to be loved, just like his father. 

Sirius’ heart swelled as he looked at the new family before him. Leaning back into his lover's embrace, he found that he couldn’t wait to have that with Remus. Maybe it wouldn’t be as easy or idyllic as James and Lily seemed to be, but it would be theirs. They would have each other, and their baby would have a better childhood than either man had, he was sure of it. 


	15. Chapter 15- So Give Me Hope

It had been six months since he’d found out he was going to be a father. He was still unsure of how to be a father but he was getting used to the idea of them being a family. He’d officially entered what Lily called the nesting phase. A couple months back, Sirius added Remus to his Gringotts account. It had made Remus uncomfortable at the time, seeing as they weren’t married and it wasn’t his money, but then Sirius made the comment that it technically wasn’t his money either. His uncle had left him the money, and then his mother, genius she was, may have burned him off the family tree but never took his name off the documents naming him the heir. At her death, he inherited the entirety of the Black estate and vaults.

Sirius had left for work twenty minutes before. Luckily he was on desk duty for the remainder of his pregnancy. They had talked this morning, well, more like Remus had started panicking because the nursery wasn’t set up. Sirius had merely laughed and told him they still had three months, but if it was bothering him it was okay to go and buy the items he thought they needed for the baby.

That’s how Remus found himself in Diagon Alley looking at baby furniture. It was a bit overwhelming but he’d gone to the baby section and sighed in relief when he found a checklist of things new parents would need. He started with the cot. There were only a couple of options, a dark wood, a light wood and white. The dark mahogany one caught Remus’ eye the most, he asked the associate to set it aside along with the matching chest of drawers and changing table. Next he went and looked for a Moses Basket, for this one, Remus chose a simple white wicker style basket with a white base. 

Remus looked down at the checklist, he’d gotten all of the furniture taken care of, next on the list were the small items such as nappies, flannels, dummies, baby grow suits, and some jim-jams. He knew he and Sirius had decided to go with cloth nappies, and grabbed fourteen of them. Their baby shower was in a month and a half and Remus knew they would be spoiled completely by their friends. He bought just enough items that if anything were to happen between now and then they would have enough for an emergency. **Poor Gritchen, he still doesn’t like me much, he’s going to hate all these extra clothes. **

After getting all of the items necessary, he had the sales associate have the items delivered to their flat within the hour. It gave him enough time to pick out some paint charms. The paint store was across the alley so Remus paid for the furniture and small items for the baby and headed that way.

The paint store had wall after wall of charms to buy, Remus walked down every aisle looking for something perfect. He found a night sky charm that would glow in the dark, showing off different constellations. He decided that would be too much for the whole room but, for the ceiling, it should be perfect. The next task was finding something neutral to go with it, he passed by the greens knowing Sirius would not want anything to remind him of his Slytherin family. He felt the blues were too on the nose with the night sky and wouldn’t mix well with the wood of the furniture. That’s how he came to the wall of purples, they had every shade from the lightest lilac to a dark fig. Towards the bottom he found a shade he liked called sage flower, it was two shades darker than lilac but lighter than amethyst. 

Paint charms purchased, and the necessary items about to be delivered, Remus returned to the flat. He wanted to get the room set up before Sirius got home from work, which only gave him about two hours. 

“Gritchen.” The house-elf appeared after a small delay. 

“Yes? Master Remus?” The snark from the elf hadn’t let up that much in the last few months. 

“I’m getting the nursery set up, I was wondering if you could have dinner ready for when Sirius gets home from work? Maybe a beef stew?” The weather for November was seasonably cold in London. Lily constantly liked to remind Sirius she’d been eight months pregnant in the summer, he could handle the winter. 

“Very well, Master Remus.” The elf gave a small bow before disappearing. 

Remus turned back to the room, where he applied the paint charms first. He was very happy with the way the colours went together, brightening up the room already. Next he decided to place the cot on the far right wall and the changing table next to it. The dresser went on the far left wall and the toy box under the window. Once Remus was happy with how everything was set up he started putting the nappies and clothes away. **This is perfect for our cub.**

He heard Sirius’ come in through the floo just as he was putting the Moses Basket in their bedroom. 

“Siri?” He called out to the man, too excited to show him the room. “Come to the nursery please.”

Sirius gasped as a wide smile spread across his face. “Oh Remi. It’s perfect.” 

“I was thinking once they’re born we can add their name above the cot and some family photos of us and James and Lils and baby Harry.” Remus was bouncing on the balls of his feet, excitement radiating out of him in waves like the ocean crashing towards the shore. Remus moved behind Sirius, wrapping his arms around his waist.

“I love it, and I love you.” Sirius leaned into Remus’ embrace, looking up at him as Remus brought his lips down to meet his. 

“I love you too.” Remus smiled softly, knowing he wouldn’t change his life for anything. In that moment he knew his life was just truly beginning. “Gritchen has made us beef stew, I was thinking we could eat then curl up on the sofa and read some before bed. You can tell me about your day and I’ll even massage your feet.”

“I think that’s the best idea you’ve ever had.” Sirius smiled then followed his lover out of the nursery and to the kitchen where the most delicious stew was simmering on the fob.


	16. Chapter 16- The Bad Things Disappear

“I’m the size of a bloody erumpent.” Sirius whinged from his place on the bed. His boyfriend was rushing around the room, packing a bag for their trip to the hospital later that afternoon. 

“But an exceedingly beautiful erumpent,” he tried to joke back as he set the bag on the bed and lightly caressed the other wizard’s cheek. The pregnant Omega huffed in response. “Who I love very much, and is nothing short of a hero for carrying our child.” 

“You’re lucky you’re so cute, Lupin.” The Alpha laughed and kissed his forehead before going back to his packing. When he entered the room with another two full bags Sirius decided it was time to intervene. “Remi, love, you know we’re only going to be in the hospital for a few days right?” 

“Why do you think I’m packing? We’ll be gone for _days_ , and I have to make sure you both stay safe. Neither you nor my cub will want for anything.” A determined crease formed between his eyebrows as he spoke. It was clear this meant a lot to the other man so, despite the fact that he was fairly sure Remus had packed sunscreen and sunglasses for a trip in the middle of January, he said nothing to discourage him. 

“You’ve done an incredible job so far, Handsome.” Waddling over to his husband he gently ran his thumb over the crease between his eyebrows, smoothing it out. “And I know you’ll be even better once the little sprog is here.” Sirius sighed into the tender kiss the other man gave before looking up into his impossibly green eyes. His hand moved to his stomach as he felt the now familiar sensation of their baby’s kick. Knowing that face instantly, Remus pressed his hand gently next to his boyfriend’s and smiled. 

“I think it’s about time we meet our little one.” Moving to the bed, Remus picked up all three bags and ushered Sirius toward the fireplace. 

They’d discovered at about seven months that the only real way for the Omega to travel comfortably was by floo. Turning sideways, to be sure his belly was fully in the fireplace with him, Sirius threw down the powder and was whisked away to the hospital. 

“We’re here to see Healer Jenkins.” Remus was struggling with the bags a bit, but had refused to let Sirius carry any of them. It would be quite annoying if his concern and protection wasn’t so comforting. “Yes, a delivery for Sirius Black.” The woman glanced down at Remus’ stomach.

“You don’t look very pregnant to me.” She was a middle aged witch, with a hard set to her brows. Although she couldn’t have been more than fifty, frown lines had already carved themselves deeply into the woman’s face. 

“That would be because I’m the pregnant one here, and currently my back and ankles are killing so if you could just tell us where we’re meant to go we’ll be on our way.” Sirius was tired lately, and not being able to walk, sit, or pee comfortably had taken away the very small amount of patience he had left. 

“Down this hall and take a right. There’s a desk there where someone will check you in.”

“Ta ever so.” Sirius gave his curt reply and was ushered away from the woman before she could reply. 

Once they were safely in their room Sirius gave a sigh of relief. Luckily, male Omega’s didn’t give birth in the traditional sense. It was much too dangerous for both the father and child, so instead the men went to the hospital for a quick and simple magical procedure. When they’d told Lily about it all, she’d said it sounded similar to what muggles called a Caesarean or c-section. At this point all that Sirius cared about was getting their little bundle of joy out. 

“Hello, Mister Black, Mister Lupin.” Healer Jenkins was a kind beta who had immediately taken to both Sirius and Remus. She hadn’t seemed to care that they weren’t yet married, and had listened to all of Remus’ concerns regarding his lycanthropy and the possibility of it spreading to their child. Fortunately, she had a surprisingly large amount of knowledge on the subject and could happily assure them both that the baby would not inherit the condition. 

“Thank Merlin, Healer Jenkins. Please tell me it’s time.” Sirius knew he was being particularly whiney, but couldn’t seem to help himself at this point. He wasn’t sleeping well, and just wanted to see their child already. Although it had taken months of conversation and countless reassurances, both men felt ready for this change in their lives, and after spending the last few months taking care of baby Harry they had some idea of what to expect. 

“Just about. I’m going to grab a few of my trainee healers if that’s alright with you. It’s not every day a pregnant male Omega gives birth and, as it’s a delicate process, it’s best they see as many as possible before their training is finished.” With a reluctant sigh Sirius nodded and the witch left the room. 

“You’re not going to pull a Prongs on me, are you?” Sirius asked, rubbing his bare stomach slowly. 

“Not a chance, Love. You couldn’t get rid of me if you tried.” The Alpha winked at his mate, drawing a smile from him. Outside the door the sound of voices grew louder. “I think it’s about time. Are you ready?”   
There was a time in his life, Merlin, not very long ago, when he would have been terrified by this whole ordeal, but looking into the amber flecked green eyes of the man he loved, he had no doubts at all. “Ready.” 

He’d scarcely spoken the word before the door opened and four witches and wizards entered the room. With a wave of the main healer’s wand Sirius was laid almost flat on the bed. A soothing warmth ran down his body as the healer trailed her wand delicately over his stomach. Even if he had wanted to watch the procedure, the sheets around his chest more than blocked his view. If the slightly uncomfortable and stunned look on his lover’s face told him anything, it was a good thing he couldn’t. The relative silence of the room was sliced through by a shrill cry of a baby. Not just any baby, but theirs. 

“Congratulations. You’ve both got a beautiful baby girl.” Healer Jenkins said. Passing the child to the other fully trained healer in the room she was quickly cleaned, and suddenly Sirius had her in his arms. 

She was every bit as pale as Sirius, and her eyes were the signature Black grey. Truthfully, he was a bit disappointed about that, but it was balmed a bit by the head of light brown hair on her head. The shape of her nose was identical to Remus’ as well, but her lips were all Sirius. She was an unbelievably perfect mixture of them both, and he couldn’t take his eyes off her. For all of the horrible things he had seen and done in his life, Sirius wouldn’t change a single thing as long as he ended up in this room with the love of his life and their daughter. 

“Remi, look what we did.” He laughed, and couldn’t seem to care that he was crying yet again. He tilted his arms just enough for Remus to get an unimpeded view of the baby cradled in his arms.

“Merlin, she’s beautiful, Siri.” Remus’ voice held the awe Sirius was feeling perfectly. Sometime in the last few moments the healers had cleaned up and left the room. Knowing how long it had taken the healers when Lily had given birth, Sirius was even more thankful he was in fact not female. But more thankful that he’d been born an Omega so he could bring this wonderful being into the world. “What are we going to name her?” He looked curiously at Sirius. 

The name had been something they’d argued about for months. Remus had insisted that, no matter what, the child have a constellation name like their Daddy, and so they’d spent days on end finding any and every possible baby name they could. Narrowing down to two male and two female names had been difficult, and they decided to wait until they met their child to make a decision. 

“Vega, Vega Hope Lupin-Black.” Their little girl stirred just the smallest bit as Sirius said her name for the first time. Since Remus had insisted upon following the Black family tradition, he only felt it right that they include something from the Lupin’s as well. He knew how much Remus had loved his mother, and even though the woman herself couldn’t be there physically, their daughter would never be without her. 

“It’s perfect. You both are.” Remus’ eyes were watering as well. Careful not to jostle them too much Remus climbed into the hospital bed and held his Omega against him. 

_Alpha is pleased_. Sirius’ Omega had been quiet since Remus had returned to them. But it’s breezy and self satisfied voice was almost comforting now. How could he possibly hate the part of himself that had given him so much. The Omega in him loved the child and man next to him as much as he did, and that was all that mattered now. 

The baby started wailing between them and Remus scrambled for his wand, accioing one of the bottles he’d packed in the baby bag. After a quick aguamenti and warming charm the bottle was ready for the fussy newborn. James and Lily would arrive at the hospital soon to see their goddaughter, and have Harry meet his new friend. While he was excited for their arrival he was also exhausted, so propping the bottle against his chest, Sirius leaned into the warm embrace of his Alpha, he closed his eyes and fell asleep.


	17. Chapter 17- So Right This Time

“Oh, please tell me I’m awake and not dreaming.” There was a warm mouth around his cock and it took everything in Remus’ power to not thrust up, hitting the back of Sirius’ throat. He reached down, curling his fingers in Sirius’ wavy locks. He gripped tightly as his lover swallowed, constricting his throat around the head of Remus’ cock. “Fuck, Siri.” 

Sirius sucked upward, hollowing his cheeks and creating a tight vacuum around the prick in his mouth before he swallowed him back down. He licked from base to the head, tonguing the slit, tasting Remus’ precum. He placed one hand on Remus’ hip, holding him in place as he tried to buck back into his mouth. 

“Patience, my love.” Sirius gave a mischievous smirk before sucking on his own index finger. He returned his attention back to Remus’ cock, swirling his tongue around the head. The Omega bobbed his head up and down, alternating between hard sucks and licks. Reaching down behind Remus’ balls he ran his finger through the clef of his arse, teasing lightly around his entrance. He slowly pushed his finger into the first knuckle as he sucked down hard on the tip of his prick. 

“Oh fucking Merlin!” Remus gasped at the intrusion, it wasn’t something they’d done before, he didn’t mind though, he’d done it many times to himself. “Fucking hell, you’re going to be the death of me Siri.” He felt the dark haired man smirk around his cock, never stopping his ministrations. The finger inside him going deeper, until it hit the small bundle of nerves. He saw white stars as Sirius’ massaged his prostate, cumming down his lover’s throat. 

“Happy Birthday, Remi.” Sirius licked his lips, moving his body up Remus’ planting kisses along his jaw before finding his lips. 

“I think this is going to be the best birthday I’ve ever had.” Smiling against Sirius’ lips, he ran his hands down the smaller man’s spine. Teasing at the waistband of his pants, caressing his hip.

“You don’t have to Remi, it’s your birthday.” Sirius bit his lip looking up into the other man’s eyes. 

“But I want to.” He slipped his hand inside, cupping the hard cock he found there. He wrapped his hand firmly around the hard member, stroking up and down. He added a twist on the next upward stroke. “You took such good care of me, and now I’m going to take care of you.” 

“Fuck. How can a man say no when you say things like that?” Sirius bucked his hips, fucking his prick into Remus’ hand. 

Swiping the pad of his thumb over the head of Sirius’ cock, smearing the bead of precum that had pooled there, he tightened his grip, squeezing slightly every time his hand encompassed the tip of his lover's cock. 

“Fuck. I’m so close, Remi.” A final two thrusts from Sirius and he was spilling his seed over Remus’ hand. 

“Yes, this is definitely the best birthday I’ve had so far.” He cast a quick cleaning spell, giving a quick peck to Sirius’ lips. 

“Unfortunately, I have to get to the Ministry in an hour, but I will be home in time for dinner.” Sirius sauntered into the bathroom to get ready for work. 

Remus dressed quickly and went to the nursery, taking Vega from Gritchen. “Good morning, how’s papa’s sweet girl?” 

“She’s had a bottle and a nappy change, I'll have breakfast ready shortly.” Gritchen backed away from Remus. They’d come a long way in the two months since Vega had been born. 

“Thank you Gritchen.” Remus gave a small nod to the elf who turned and disappeared to the kitchen to get breakfast and coffee working. 

“Let’s go meet your daddy in the kitchen.” He held his daughter in his arms as she cooed all the way to the kitchen. 

The smile on Sirius’ face at the sight of his daughter, was enough to melt Remus’ heart. Our Omega, he’s so happy. So beautiful when he smiles. 

Sirius took Vega from Remus, kissing her forehead. The love he had for her evident in his eyes. The sight of the two most important people in his life affirmed Remus’ plan for the day. 

Gritchen set down two cups of steaming hot coffee, since Vega’s birth, tea just wasn’t strong enough to keep up with her throughout the day. They ate breakfast together while Vega slept in her Moses Basket. Soon Sirius had to get up to head to the floo. 

“Are you sure you have to go in today? Your leave isn’t up for at least another month.” Remus was concerned about Sirius overdoing it even though he’d been cleared by the healer. 

“It’s just for mandatory meetings. The Unspeakables have some information for the Auror department and we all have to be present. I promise I will be home as soon as I can.” Sirius bent down and gave him another kiss. He walked over to the floo and disappeared into the green flames. 

“Well sprog, how do you feel about going shopping with your papa? It may be my birthday but we need to pick up something for your daddy.” Remus moved the breakfast dishes from the table to the sink to be washed. He grabbed two bottles and some formula, packing up Vega’s nappy bag for a short trip out. 

“Gritchen.” The elf turned around from the sink of dishes he was cleaning. “I’m going to cook dinner for Sirius tonight. Can you find me a basket and a blanket? We’re going to have dinner under the stars.”

“Of course, Master Lupin. I’ll be putting out warm jumpers for all of you as well.” The elf returned to his task as if he’d never been addressed to begin with. 

Vega was dressed in her little pea coat. While she looked completely adorable, Remus wondered what a two month old baby needed with a pea coat, but he couldn’t say no to Sirius when he bought it. He made a quick trip to the local grocery store, getting the ingredients he needed to make a chicken parmigiana, an assortment of cheese and an aged Malbec. 

The rest of their trip passed in a blur, between Remus’ excitement and Vega catching the attention of every passerby and associate it took longer than Remus expected before they were back home. Remus was lucky that she was an easy sleeper, she went right down for a nap while he worked on breading the chicken and getting it in the oven. 

Just after five, Sirius stepped back through the floo. Remus was putting the finishing items in the basket Gritchen had found for him. He had Vega packed and ready to go for their little trip as well. 

“Good, you’re just in time. Go take a shower and change into your jumper, Gritchen set one out for you. Then meet me back in there.” Remus waved towards the living room. He did a final check to make sure he had everything he needed for their dinner to be perfect. 

“Where are we going, my love?” Sirius was wearing a dark grey jumper that made his eyes look like a storm brewing on the horizon. 

“Out. Now come.” They walked out the flat, Vega cuddled up in her pram as they walked hand in hand to the park down the street. Living in a fully magical neighborhood in the middle of Muggle London had its perks. The park nearby was usually filled with crups and kneazles chasing each other. They didn’t have to go too far before they found a small semi secluded area. 

Remus pulled out the blanket Gritchen had packed for him, laying flat on the ground. He emptied the contents of the basket in the center of the blanket, leaving plenty of room for Sirius and himself on either side. Gritchen had packed a smaller blanket that Remus used to swaddled Vega.

Opening the wine, he gestured for Sirius to have a seat on the blanket. As he sat, Remus offered him a glass of the wine. 

While they ate Sirius told Remus about his meetings, meaning, basically, he told Remus that he had meetings. The content of those meetings were, unfortunately, confidential and he and every other Auror were bound by a tongue tie curse so the information couldn’t get released to the general public. In return, Remus told Sirius how Vega had stolen all the attention while they were at the store. 

As if knowing her papa was speaking of her, Vega began to get fussy. “Do you mind checking her nappy?” Remus stuck his hand in his pocket, closing his fingers around the small box there. 

Sirius unswaddled their daughter, his eyes widened when he saw the words on her body suit, ‘Daddy, will you marry my papa?” written in Remus’ flowing script. Sirius looked over towards Remus, completely shocked. 

Remus opened the box showing off the silver band with a garnet stone inlaid in the center of an aquamarine and a topaz. “Say something, please.” The brief moment of silence felt like an eternity to Remus.

“Yes.” Sirius' words were breathless as he smiled up at his lover.

Remus slipped the ring on to Sirius’ left hand, kissing his fiancé under the night sky. They held their daughter as they cuddled together. When they finished the wine and were ready for bed they made the trip back to the flat. They moved Vega’s Moses Basket back into their bedroom and they all settled in for bed.


	18. Chapter 18- Everyday You'll Get Better

Sirius fidgeted with the cuff links on his new Muggle tux. He’d repinned the red rose boutonniere on his lapel half a dozen times already. To be honest, he’d only stopped because Lily had smacked his hand the last time, insisting it was perfect where it was. They spent the first night in over a year apart the night before, at Lily’s insistence, and the Omega was getting exceedingly antsy. 

_I want our Alpha_ . The breezy voice muttered. His heat was due to start in less than twenty-four hours, and they both missed their fiance more than was entirely rational. _I know, but it’s just a bit longer. In less than an hour, he’ll be ours in almost every way possible_. Despite the inner pout from the Omega, the thought seemed to placate them for the time being. 

After the proposal Remus had gone into what they’d lovingly referred to as groomzilla state. He’d insisted after all they had gone through together to get to that point that every last detail had to be absolutely perfect. With the capture of Lord Voldemort, and the arrest of his followers they were finally free to pursue the wedding of their dreams. So two years since Remus had marked him nearly to the day they were committing themselves to one another in the eyes of the Ministry. Once his heat kicked in, Sirius would complete their bond, leaving his mark on the man who had every part of him. He was a wonderful father to their daughter, and the thought of waiting any longer without belonging to each other in every sense was torture for them both. 

“Ready, Padfoot?” James had accepted his offer of best man, and had been almost as excited about it all as he and Remus were. 

With a nod the doors were opened and the soft music trailed into the room. Lily carried little Vega down the aisle as she happily threw the petals on the ground. Well, when she wasn’t trying to eat them she did. With his hand firmly in his father's, Harry walked with the ring bearing pillow tight in his little fingers. Reaching the arch, James sent his son to sit with his wife, grabbing the pillow before taking his place on the right side of the officiant. 

After a brief pause, the music changed. Taking a deep breath, Sirius walked through the doors and made his way down the aisle. His eyes immediately locked on the man standing under the ornate arch. It was clear as green met grey that they only had eyes for each other. Sirius didn’t even try to hide his smile as he saw Remus’ reaction to his love of over half of his life walking toward him. When he finally stood across from the sandy haired man, he felt as if the rest of the world had just faded away. Nothing mattered but the wizard in front of him and how he felt in this moment. 

Before he knew what was happening, Remus was speaking. Somehow, he’d completely missed the officiant telling Remus to read his own vows. 

“From the moment you burst into my life in that train compartment, I knew you were the one I would love for the rest of my life. It may have taken me almost ten years to finally admit it to myself and to everyone else, but I eventually got there.” He paused giving a small smile. “There’s not much I can give you in the way of material things but know not a day will go by that I will not give you all of my love and my heart. I will cherish and adore you until the day I die. The night you agreed to marry me was the best night of my life but it doesn’t compare to how I feel right now. I love you more than words can express and I am looking forward to spending the rest of my life with you.”

Sirius’ heart seemed to skip a beat once he’d finished. Being open with others about his feelings didn’t come naturally to the other man, but here he was in front of an entire crowd of people telling Sirius everything he could have ever dreamed of hearing from him. Trying his best to hold back the tears of joy that threatened to roll down his cheek, Sirius pulled out his own vows. 

“Remi, when I sat down to write these vows I realized for the first time in my life that I was speechless. Not because I didn’t want to marry you, or regretted anything that has ever happened between us, but because nothing I said seemed to convey what I feel for you. Even after all these years I can remember the first time I ever saw your smile. Not the smile you put on for everyone else, but the kind that lit up your green eyes like sunlight filtering through the branches of a pine forest. The kind that crinkled the bridge of your nose in the most adorable way. From that moment on, I swore I’d do anything I could to see that smile again.” The other man’s eyes were sparkling as that smile spread across his face. “While everyone else was chasing teenage flings and moving from one crush to the next, all I could see was you. How clever and courageous you were. How you put your feelings aside for the people you cared for. How heated you got when talking about anything you were passionate about. Most of all I saw that you had no idea how incredible you actually were. Remus John Lupin, I want to spend every second of every day for the rest of our lives showing you what I’ve always seen. You have been and always will be my one and only.” The Alpha was crying, with a loving smile meant only for his Omega pulling his lips taut. 

The rest of the ceremony was simple I do’s, exchanging of rings and the drawing of a binding cord by the Ministry officiant before it sank into their skin leaving nothing but a tingling warm where they had been. 

“I’d like to present for the first time, Mister and Mister Lupin-Black. You may now kiss your groom.” He’d barely finished the statement before he was wrapped in his husband’s arms. It was a tender kiss full of the love and promise only two mates could share. Pulling back for a breath, Remus flashed him a cheeky smile before taking his hand and walking with him down the aisle and through the doors. 

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” The other wizard brushed his hair back from his face as he took him in for the first time away from prying eyes. “I can’t believe you’re really mine. My perfect Omega. The Father of my child. Now my perfect husband.” 

Sirius’ breath caught in his throat for a moment. “Say it again.” A wide smile spread across Remus’ face as he leaned his forehead gently against his mate’s. 

“You Sirius Orion Lupin-Black are, now and forever, my husband.” Rushing forward, the long-haired man pressed his lips hard against the other man’s. The taller wizard slid into their familiar stance, one hand cupping his lover’s jaw gently the other secure on his back, holding him just close enough to ensure he was safe in his embrace, but not sexual in any way. Neither man pulled back until absolutely necessary, panting softly as they allowed themselves to just be. “And just think, after tonight I’ll carry you and your mark with me no matter where I go. For as long as I live I will be undeniably yours.” 

The words were laced with the smallest hint of Alpha tone, and accompanied by a wave of his intoxicating scent. A shiver raced through Sirius, and had him leaning forward, burying his face in the other wizard’s neck. “If you keep that up we’ll never make it to the reception, and I know how hard you’ve worked on it all.” Sirius couldn’t help but rub his face on his husband’s scent gland, making sure he had thoroughly scent marked himself. 

“Fuck, then you’re going to have stop rubbing against me like that. You know what smelling myself on you does.” Remus growled sensually in his mate’s ear before pulling his head away and stepping back so he was at a safer distance. “So, if you’ll do me the honor I’d love to take you to our reception now.” 

“I wouldn’t have it any other way, husband.” The other man growled playfully again drawing a low chuckle from Sirius. 

“And that, that’s definitely also off limits.” Shaking his head at the other man they walked into the reception.

They were met by cheers of their friends and smiled wide when they saw their godson clapping happily at the sound. James was holding their daughter, who was fast asleep despite the noise. Something she’d inherited from Sirius no doubt. Her other father chuckled at the scene before walking over to their table, pulling the chair out for his husband, and then sitting himself. The first course appeared on their plate along with two smaller plates for the babies. Although Sirius insisted he could feed his daughter, James kept a hold of her claiming he needed quality time with his goddaughter. 

“That’s absurd. You’re taking care of her for two weeks while we’re away for our honeymoon. Until then, I need as much time with my little star as possible.” The other man pretended to pout but gently passed the giggling girl back to her dad. 

The two families ate their meals smiling and laughing at the silly behaviors of their children, and discussing the married couple's plans for their trip. Soon it was time for their first dance. Sirius was well versed in more kinds of dance than he cared to admit thanks to his upbringing, but Remus had made them practice for hours on end, until he could lead the other man in a flawless waltz. 

“This really is amazing you know. You did an amazing job, Remi.” The other man blushed at the compliment but grinned. 

“It’s all for you. It always has been.” Sirius leaned in until he could hear the steady beat of the love of his life’s heart. The two wizards ended up in a slow turn of circle as they let themselves forget about anything and everything except the man in their arms. Both were sure that it could only get better from this moment onwards, as long as they had each other.


End file.
